first time???

my brother wnt to australia yesterday evening... he won a tix to the MTV award... o he will be there for 5 days 4 nights... he allow me to use his laptop.. ahhahaha.. tha'ts why i can go online.. my dad is in air-port now.. going to china.. work.... my uncle is going to london next week.. everyone is leaving malaysia!! hahah...



yesterday i do my notes for CTR till 4 something.. morning.. during the revision... i saw mosquito so i use the electrical racket to hit it.. when the racket hit the window.. my alarm ring!!!! the house alarm i mean.. so loud!!!!!!! damn!!! i off it immediately... then i lie down on the staircase coz it scare me!!! i got no energy to stand up for 5 mins.. then my hand keep shaking for 10 mins... i can't hold anything and write... first time... last time... presentation even i'm scare but still i can stand up and walk...

i got a terrible dream after that..i sweat alot when i woke up...
i forgot hw it start,.. the only thing i remember is i'm pregnant!!! 4 motnhs... my tummy is big.. round...hard... when i touch it.. i can feel the heart beat!!! i keep telling my mum that i din do anything wrong and I'm still a virgin!!! no one trust me coz i'm pregnant!!! i dunno how it happen.. i keep crying and ask myself... how can this happen?? is it a ghost inside?? then i tell my mum i dun wan this baby.. i'm only 19.. bla bla bla... keep crying... then my cousin said if u dun wan the baby.. giv him to me.. but i keep thinking that how am i suppose to go to coll like this? with a big tummy... it's really scary!!!!! now when i touch my tummy.. i feel so scary.. i scare later really got heart beat!!! hahahahhahahhahah... now when i recall my dream.. it's funny but in my dream.. it's so real!! i'm nervous.. dunno what To do.. now i know why so many ppl kill...dump their baby... u really won't know what to do when u;re pregnant... especially when u're young!!!!! haih~~~