Monday, April 29, 2013

my April

April supposed to be my favourite month.. because my birthday is on april~~ hahhaah but this month.. has been extremely busy.. i dont even rmb how many times i had lunc with my colleagues.. i always eat around 3-4pm because i have many things to do.. meetings.. preview.. ==

i've been on 8 Style.. One FM.. and presented ideas to CEOs... totally stressed.. i do powerpoint slides.. i am multitasks editor.. i'm not just an editor this month.. and after a super stressful presentation.. my boss just decided to pull me down to another presentation which SUPPOSED to be presented by the executive.. i have no idea why they have to throw one idea to me and make me present..

stress to the max.. and i hate POWER POINTTTTTTTTTTT hate it so much till the extend i almost wanted to photoshop each slides..

i almost broke down in the office when i have to edit but got no time because of ppt.. and in the end it decided to clashed before i saved it.. i knocked the table in the office when it clashed and my colleagues thought i cried.. almost.. but i have no time to cry.. but i almost cry when my boss deleted most of the pictures and the background.. i arranged the pictures nicely.. took me lots of time.. and i googled for many many pictures.. T_T Elaine and Siewky said they couldn't understand me being stress with power point.. but it is really hard to use T_T

and dont forget i'm an editor.. so i have to edit as well.. all deadlines at the same time.. my producer brought me to eat korean food to cheer me up.. but in the end i just keep drinking the rice wine.. almost got drunk == why am i doing two jobs.. what's the point of dividing teams? i'm doing jobs for both team A and team B!

ok.. done with my rant.. yeah.. continue my life.. hahaha really glad that God gave me an optimistic mind.. everytime after i rant.. i'll feel happier and live my life happier.. hehehehe


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

stressed 2

i'm stressed today... super stressed..

at first i planned to go to work after lunch time cos i have nothing to do on wednesday usually.. got a call in the morning and boss wants to meet those who presented.. jump up from the bed and took a quick shower.... rushed to office..

was happy when i received mandy's msg... i'm sooooooooo happy for her! she got a really good guy! realy awesome guy.. i really envy her... when can i got a guy that will say such things to me?

anyway while running to office and typing at the same time.. i drop my phone! shit! new phone.. wihtout cover! sHIT!

meeting was quick.. basically i have to touch up all three programs ppt files.. SHIT! then forced to go out and have lunch with boss... ==

whole day was busy doing the powerpoint slides.. and colleageus just have to disturb me... i know they are used to disturb me but not when i'm busy la! i got soooooo annoyed! and in the end i exploded by walking away from the computer.. then i have to edit my videos..

i stayed up after working hours to finish up my powerpoint slides.. but computer just has to clash for few times!! almost cried in the office.. i seriously don't know how to use power point.. so it took me a lng time to prepare for the slides.. arrange pic one by one.. in the end the file couldn't be open! i knocked the table really loud and almost cried... thank God that i can open it in another computer..

but i'm still stressed.. i have to do it tmr.. still have two more programs.. and i have to rush for editing.. eveyrthing come together! i want a drink!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 19, 2013

stressed

i've been really stressed this week.. not because i have lots of things to do but because i have nothing to do! maybe you are wondering.. why are you stress when you have nothing to do..

my repeated this sentence more than 10 times this week.. "just because the offline editor didn't give you offline on time.. doesn't mean my deadline will postpone.. it just mean i have lesser time to work"

and i'm selected to present the new ideas to 8TV CEO, NTV7 general manager... and some other departments with 5 of my other colleagues... we have to present 32 programs.. i'm stressed because i'm not presenting my ideas only but other groups.. i'm stressed because it's been a lng time since i last present in front of crowd.. i'm stressed becaues we have no time to understand in details what are we presenting.. i'm stressed!

and whenever i thought i'm over you.. i thought i'm ok.. always something happen! i CANT BELIEVE I CRIED FOR THE THIRD TIMES! seriously.. i can't understand what kind of person i changed into.. why am i crying for a guy for so many times... finally you messaged me.. and you forgot my birthday! seriously!! i know i'm not important to you la.. but with facebook! all my photos,, wishes.. notifications! you don't realized it's my birthday until 4 days later! it's worse than a normal friend!!!!! and you are online most of the time.. so disappointed.. even berry said she feels sad for me.. i need to drink!

my producer found out i cried.. and he promises to buy me a drink.. i need to release stress! super stress!!!!!

Thursday, April 18, 2013

weak

i'm not as strong as how i thought i can be.. i'm not as cool as how i thought i can be..

i couldn't imagine that i would cry for you.. AGAIN! just because you didn't wish me on my birthday.. i couldn't understand why you don't send me any message.. you were online! and impossible to forget my birthday when you have FB...

did you found out that i like you? and you afraid to wish me? are you that kind of guy?

i just couldnt' understand.. and i don't understand why i cried just because i can't see your name while scrolling down the wishes..

i failed.. i disappointed myself... i thought i would be ok.. but in the end.. i'm weaker than i thought.. i don't likeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

useless~~~

Saturday, April 13, 2013

heartache..

finally i'm ready to write this post.. it's been a week.. time to update abit on my life..

as stated in my last post.. i'm supposed to have a movie date with him.. and all my colleagues.. can'[t stop pushing me to confess my love... of course i won't.. cos i don't even know what he's thinking and i don't confess.. i'm not used to confess.. i think that's a guy's job.. call me sexist.. but i never confess before and i will NOT!

but after talking to my close colleague and my lao ban.. they gave me some advices.. like just ask him.. to know what he's thinking.. so i thought.. that's a chance for me to know about him.. rather than wasting time thinking we are possible.. so i decided to ask him about his feeling..

after talking to my colleague.. i coudln't work.. there's this thought in my mine.. i think it's today to give up.. i told my colleague about some of our dates.. she said impossible for a guy to travel from LCCT to one u just to watch movie with me.. but i still think it's becos he is kind..

i couldn't do anything and not in a mood to workout.. i met him for a dinner.. with colleague joining.. she wants to see whether we are possible.. and she needs to makan.. i think dinner turns out good.. then we went movie.. i was touched that i don't have to say anything.. he knew i need popcorn.. maybe he is just a caring guy... the movie was so touching.. i cried a lot.. TT____TT

after that.. on the way to carpark.. i talked about his blog.. and ask about his target.. the moment he said "that girl has a bf" immediately i knew.. it's not me... my mood goes down all the way.. i do'nt feel like talking.. and in the car.. i felt the distance from one u to my house is really far~ and he just had to use the wrong road.. i want to get home quickly cos i feel like crying.. we do talks about that girl.. but i don't rmb much.. only rmb i said he's confusing.. he's kind to everyone how would that girl know whether he's interested or just kind.. this is totally from my heart..

heartache... honestly i didnt know this really happen.. i mean.. heartache is not something just to describe.. but it's physically pain~~ i can feel it.. like many arrows shot onto it.. that feeling sucks! and i have to restrain myself from crying.. in the end i pretended to sleep.. i cried for a long time once i reach home and when colleague asked.. i had to pretend i'm ok with texts like "haha i can hunt for new guy" while crying hard.. thank God i have Elaine who can talk to without pretending.. and i hate myself for crying for someone who don't like me.. i don't know why am i so dumb!

i know this is not his fault.. maybe a little? he's too kind to a normal friend so i think girls would misunderstand... mainly my own problem.. i think too much~ maybe i don't meet many guys that will treat me that kind.. that caring.. now when i recall.. i think his actions just show from friend to friend.. i don't know why i can't see this last time.. but this is a good experience like what my mum said.. she is so happy that i cried for a guy.. she said it's normal.. she's worried that my heart is cold to guys.. so she's happy finally after so many year.. i like someone.. even thought it's not a happy ending..

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

nervous

i just wrote that my feelings faded towards him.. but how come i feel nervous meeting him tomorrow.... is it because of what my friends said? i always tell people not to give up easily.. do action.. maybe tmr i should do more than hint.. if he's nt interested in me at least i can give up and just be friend.. seriously i don't want to feel regret again..

come on! don't have to wait for the guy (even though i think guy should take the first move) i can just go and ask just like on call 36... i need to grab the chance before it turn into regret!