Dance Dance Dance ^^

anniversary

2012-01-13T03:41:00.002+08:00

it's DA 4th anniversary.. i rmb i rejected the offer to celebrate 2nd anniversary with them two years ago because i wasn't a member of them.. and last year.. finally i celebrated anniversary with them.. haha and now.. i'm not celebrating with them anymore.. no more in the future..

i thought i will cry as much as i could on this day.. i rmb last year we were kind of in a rush.. we had a great time choosing infinite member's character.. we ate in BBQ plaza.. we were so noisy in the rest..

this year i'm gonna spend this day alone.. without any noises.. without anyone besides me..even the house is empty today.. i seriously thought i was gonna cry.. but even when i'm typing all this.. i do'nt even have tears in my eyes.. i dont knw why..

i had collaborated with one of the ex member.. of course i asked her why did she quit? cos from what i heard last time.. it's her fault quitting.. even i thought so.. but honestly... after hearing reasons from her.. it took a long time for her to explode.. now i understand.. half of her reasons similar to mine.. both of us argued with HER the most.. both of us can't stand her the most... honestly i am not patient enough to work with her..

and after both of us quit.. the problems are on us.. suddenly we are the one who gave up on them.. i mean yes we gave up and we decided to quit.. but something forced us to do that.. when i talk to J.. i felt soooo must better~~~ cos finally i can really really really find someone that understands my feelings and stand on my side.. we talked for few hours that day.. i am very sorry for her because when she quit... NOBODY talked to her after that.. none of the members asked her why.. and everyone just said it's because she's impatient.. she's not good in tolerating..

i didnt know that she quit until i came back from Korea.. i even bought her gift..and we got so many more stages after she quit.. she admited that she felt bad... i watched their performance right after i quit once.. i cried.. so i understand J's feeling.. really sorry.. after reading her blog.. i can truly understand her..

but now.. we are not regret.. because of many reasons... we are not important in the group.. nobody cares whether we leave the group.. we can't stand her.. and no members supported us or listen to us when we quit.. and lastly.. everyone blame us for quitting and make them cry...

i think quitting the group is the best decision i've made.. the only thing that make me depressed.. i can't quit peacefully.. i always hope in the future even i break up with my bf.. we can still be friend.. but now.. seems like all of them dont want to talk to me... it's ok... since i don't even feel anything now.. i think i really got no feelings and numb now.. 12 january.. it's just another ordinary day..

2011

2012-01-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

i wanted to update bout my 2011 life also got no time.. these few weeks always busy with gatherings.. dinners.. almost everyday got dinners.. dinner with family.. dinner with my brothers and sisters..gatherings with friends..

i stated in facebook.. my 2011 was awesome.. cos i learned a lot.. super a lot.. i gained lots of experiences.. my 2011 can be divided into three parts.. before i went to Taiwan... i participated in two very big competitions.. and i'm able to dance on big stages.. in I City.. in Astro Hits.. and in Putrajaya.. i enjoyed those moments a lot.. i'm such a lucky person to stand on those stages.. and enjoyed those cheerings..

i headed to Taiwan in the July.. i experienced a great adventure.. i stayed on a mountain for the first time.. i be an English Teacher for the first time.. i had to deal with insects and worms for the first time.. and i grown up after that trip..

after i come back from Taiwan.. i experienced a great lose.. and i experience my first broke down.. when i recall my two months.. i was really depressed.. cried almost everyday.. didn't want to talk to other people.. i don't trust anyone anymore.. i decided to keep myself away from other people.. my best friend and my mum was so worried that time.. but now when i recovered.. i realized.. to be positive about it.. isn't it a good thing that i lefT? cos nobody wanted me to stay anyway.. now when i think back.. it's a bullshit saying that i think too much.. cos i'm forced to.. and now it's kind of proven that i made the right choice.. i never regret.. and i grown up again.. let me be frank.. though i gave many excuses why i left the group.. the main reason is I CANT WORK WITH YOU!! the main reason is i don;t want to continue to work with you so that we don't need to argue anymore.. but too bad.. i cant quit peacefully..

so to conclude my 2011.. i think i grow up more.. i'm too emotional last time.. i trust people easily.. i'm dependent on others.. now i realized.. not everyone understand you.. i'm not gonna be so emotional on 2012.. i'm not gonna trust people easily on 2012.. i'm not gonna be kind on 2012 anymore.. i'm not gonna depend on others.. and put too much feelings.. i want to be someone cool.. hahaha

normal ^^

2011-12-17T02:47:00.003+08:00

it's been a long time since i last write a blog.. maybe because these few weeks.. there are people who listen to me.. who talk to me.. seriously these few weeks.. i'm really blessed.. i met up with my primiary schoolmates.. bcause my classmate getting married.. we witnessed their journey together.. since both are normal friends.. till both like each other... till parent disagree with them.. till they got separated becos the boy was sent to New Zealand.. and now finally they won their parent.. and getting married.. it's like watching a drama. with a happy ending~~ we kept talking about 那些年。那些年我们去过的地方。and met 那些年，一起追过我的男孩。哈哈 i didnt realized there were quite a number of people like me before.. hahaha

after that, i was kinda busy.. maybe i'm trying to keep myself busy.. oh then i went to MOA 2011.. meet the suju oppa again! it's my 8th times.. seriously.. they still touched me.. i'm still in love with them.. i met a new friend from SG.. so i wasn't alone in my zone.. we both had fun.. i purposely arrive the stadium earlier to help out mysj.. but most of them went to fan meeting.. and those who stayed were those whom i'm more awkward with.. she's there.. seriously... for now.. it's obvious that sh's ignoring me.. so i cant think of any reason for me to go near her anymore.. since she doesn't want our friendship.. or maybe she afraid that i'll hurt her or whatever shit.. i just don't care now.. i'm numb.. i am not sad or hurt even though she ignored me... i just got no feeling.. i won't make u annoyed by me again.. cause i'm not gonna go near u anymore.. for now.. i dont mind losing a friend.. it's ok..

before that, i talked to Jess.. we talked about how we both felt when we quit.. we talked about why we quit.. we didn't talk bad about her.. but just expressing our feelings.. i was so sorry for her cause when she quit... nobody was there to listen to her.. i know how she feels.. she admit she was hurt.. i'm sorry.. and i dont have much chance to spend time with her.. hopefully i can get closer to her.. ^_^ she's a really nice friend.. finally someone understands my feeling..

the concert was fun~~ i talked super a lot that day.. even kak fiza said i talk too much.. when she said that, i'm happy ^_^ it means i'm back to normal.. haha finally i talk.. and talk too much.. 3 months ago.. i dont talk and just keep crying.. and want to be alert with everyone.. just like a hedgehog.. i want to have a distance with everyone so they got no chance to hurt me.. and i won't pour out too much feelings..including my friends.. i'm glad i'm back to normal to my friends now.. i'm gonna be a hedgehog to people i meet in the future.. but not my friends ^^

心淡了。

2011-11-15T01:20:00.002+08:00

这次我很肯定的告诉自己。心淡了。一直还有点矛盾，现在，尤其读了她的文章。我很确定我心淡了。就算在怎么心痛不能站上舞台，和团员们。可是一切都心淡了。

这次是我给自己最后机会。不要再回头。以前，失去他，也没想过回头。不要再为了她们回头。我曾经是一个自尊很强的人。不要再把自己弄的很可怜。抬头！！！！你没有做错事。就算有，已经道歉了。现在你是问心无愧！！！记住！

我说过，要变成很冷漠的人。我不会再那么替别人想，我不会再放那么多感情，我一定要学自私！这样我才不会受伤。我一定要有一道冰墙围住我。别人不保护我，我就自己保护自己。天天笑也被人误会成心机重。好！！我一定会像你说的，变一个心机重的人。

it's over

2011-11-13T01:20:00.002+08:00

it's over it's over it's OVER! i have to keep reminding myself this! everything is OVER!!! no matter how many times you think of it..how many times you dream of them.. it's OVER! impossible to stand on the same stage with them now! cause you are an outsider! when can you get over this? don't you feel tired keeping that small hope? please wake up! even you dreamt about it.. you still need to wake up.. and face the reality! PLEASE CHRISTY LIM! please wake up la! when will you stop thinking and move on with your own life? when can you get used to a life that is without dancing and without them! please remember! you are consider an outsider.. Dawn's arch don't belongs to you anymore.. or either way.. please wake up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

heartache

2011-11-11T02:13:00.002+08:00

i went to their practice today.. seeing them practicing for new dance... new competition.. my heart pain..

i have no right to blame anyone because i'm the one that gave up on them.. gave up on all the stages.. i know i have no one to blame.. but still i can't control how my heart feels.. i know.. i am totally an outsider now.. none of the competition related to me.. i just felt... weird...

i thought i could overcome this feeling.. but i can't .. i'm an useless person... my tears never finish.... honestly.. why am i crying? why? it's me who concluded everything like this... who am i to even cry? i don't see big difference in the group without me.. but i can clearly difference in my life without them.. i lost chances of dancing.. i lost 5 precious members.. even though we are still friends.. but i know we are not that close anymore.. i lost a big part in my life.. i lost two precious thing in my life.. dance and friends.. maybe i got chance to dance again but not as Dawn's Arch member.. honestly i dont feel like dancing on the stage without them with me.. i don't feel secure.. but it's past... i'ts memories..

i used to cried a lot when i watch SJ memories video.. because i felt sad that hankyung left.. but now whenever i listened or watch those songs.. i can only relate it to myself... we used to laugh together.. we used to cry together... we used to gone through a lot...

honestly i hope they could stand on a big stage successfully soon... even though i can't stand on it with them.. but there's no one i could blame.. i just truly hope.. they will be able to be successful soon..

last time.. my dream in dancing was... dawn's arch got number 1 in any competition and we cry on the stage together... that's the scene that i always HOPE for.. but now... i think have to change to.. Dawn's Arch got number 1 in any competition and THEY cry together on the stage..

when i talked to suying.. sometimes.. i always mention DA as my group or our members.. but after 1 sec.. i'll change it to "THEM" of course i felt heartache everytime i have to change it.. honestly... i don't even dare to call her jagiyah now.. i'll call her Chris..

Why? why this happen? i envy those groups that members always say they want to quit but still able to solve everything and stand on the stage together.. sometiems i wonder.. how come our group cannot? once it's spoken.. everything is confirmed..

yes.. even though i never want to admit this.. i regret quitting.. because i lose my precious friends.. its the friendship that makes me regret.. i regret regret regret.. but nothing can be change.. so what if i cry non-stop? so what if i keep thinking bout them.. so what.. cause i'm the one that quit.. nobody will cares if my heart pain.. cause i'm the one that quit... let me cry for another week.. i hope my tears can end.. seriously.. everyone moved on.. besides me... T_T why? i always cry in the car while listening to korean songs.. there's no korean songs that i can not relate to them.. every songs seems related to them.. the worst thing is.. i cried hard in the car.. and once i reach somewhere or meet some friends.. i had to smile like nothing happen.. it's tiring..............................................................................................

how come my life so full of them? i realized this two years.. it's always dancing and DAWN'S ARCH! why is it like that? now i lost both.. my life is nothing..

见面了。。。

2011-11-05T22:40:00.002+08:00

今天，终于见面了。。并不是什么open talk。只是mysj有舞蹈比赛所以见面了。

在一个没有预想到的地方见－厕所。。＝＝｜

吓到啦！所以第一眼我是有点不知所措。所以没有笑。TT 我不想的。然后进厕所后，我的心快跳出来了。其实我是很想抱她们。尤其是我的jagiyah。好久没抱她。可是出来时，有电话。所以就没讲什么就出了。然后我们继续逛逛。遇到kpop朋友就聊了几句。然后我看到她们了。就尽力的过去跟她们打招呼。叫她们加油。觉得她们好有型喔！这样的打扮真的很帅。然后被人叫去别的地方。

比赛开始了。当然有很多是第一次所以很紧张也很乱。可是我最讨厌人重编舞蹈。现在sj beast bb 的舞步很差吗？需要你重编！！！！看到我火都来了！我宁愿跳的乱可是也不要乱改舞步。经典的舞步都没有了。你们回去你们的领域啦。很生气。很讨厌！！！！

终于到她们了！我和盈喊得很大声。也一直叫旁边的朋友喊。她们很帅。我还为她们喊属于她们的fanchant。哈哈。。把don't don改去dawn's arch。

可是不知道为什么，看下看下，突然眼泪一直涌上来。我一直忍。一直不经意的抹眼泪。我记得，之前，其实我有梦过这个画面。她们同样跳两首歌。不同的是，henry是我当。因为我没有时间跟她们练舞所以就当henry。可是起码我是一起跳的。看完她们，还要看progression。很尽力的喊。完毕了。我就冲去厕所。然后抱着盈就哭了起来。我一直努力笑。一直说没事。可是眼泪很不争气一直掉。然后收拾心情。洗脸就去看看结果。

她们拿第三。超不开心咯。输给我讨厌的那一组。替她们不爽。过后我就立刻想离开。因为我怕眼泪又掉。就跟很多朋友告别。看到她们很忙的拍照。不知道要怎么跟她们告别。矮爸爸说，为什么我不去找她们拍照？讲话？我就说，已经讲话啦。你要我怎样？去抱她们啊？他说，就去抱啊！！！我真的无语。过后，我就跟von说我要走了。帮我跟她们讲。她说“真的不要跟她们讲话？？我帮你叫她们” okok 我去找她们。我就过去要跟她们拍照。看到她们没事，我也自然的跟她们讲话。然后她们需要上台拍照。我就跟von假装粉丝上去。我还一直很想她们的crazy fans。哈哈。

她们说待会吃饭再打给我。其实我看的出，队长好像没有很舒服的样子。不知道是因为看到我还是因为不满意表演／结果。我们并没有讲话。因为大家很忙。离开后，我们到处逛街。我一直想，其实为什么大家叫我过去跟她们讲话。她们不能过来吗？我没有后悔主动跟她们讲话。因为我开心可以讲话。可是为什么一定是我主动？其实我也是一个被动的人。盈说因为我的形象是这样。主动，乐观跟开心。所以如果我有一点发呆没有笑，大家都会觉得我生气，伤心。可是我也不能一直笑的啊。刚才明明就伤心，不知道为什么心痛可是还是要一直笑。很累。别人问我为什么没跳，我笑笑的说，因为我没时间啊。

我突然讨厌这个形象。如果我是一个很cool的人，那我的笑容是可贵的吧。我并不是一个很主动，很友善的。又让我想起，要当一个冷漠的人。以后我踏出社会，我要当一个冷冷的人。还是需要冰墙围着我。这样我才百毒不侵。

我是不是一个可笑的人。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。冷漠又当不成。乐观又很累。去死了算！！

我的秘密基地

2011-11-04T05:17:00.003+08:00

有一个让我可以吐尽所有的事的地方，真好。。。

文字的确能让我轻松。不想跟任何人讲话。就来这里。不想出声，就来这里把所有东西写出来。原来我christy lim 也会有不想讲话的时候。也有自闭的时候。还好我记得我还有一个blog。以前我很讨厌写字。我觉得人要用嘴巴把所有事讲出来才会轻松。可是现在，没有人听之外，我不想讲。有点讨厌讲话。

没有人懂。只有我懂。没有人会看，没有人会了解。起码我轻松了。不需要任何人的关心，不需要任何人的同情。我现在过的很好。虽然，我想到我要变冷漠的人，我眼泪又来了。是对以前那开朗的christy有点想念吗？不舍得。。。。以前，我很爱笑，很爱讲话。嘴巴不可能停。我很乐观。很爱哭。很容易相信人。因为人之初，性本善。她没杀我那不需要理它。很容易忘记伤心。

到底以前的那位christy，是一位可笑的人，还是一位可贵的人？我心中的黑暗天使，起来了。它把阳光天使杀了。。。。。。。。。。

会复生吗？？？？？？

不知道，只是知道，我想念以前的那位，可是我知道她现在消失了。以前听别人说，长越大，笑容会越少，我不信！我要快乐开心到老。我的座右铭是天天开心天天笑。可是原来，真的不可能。笑容不可能跟以前一样多。只要眼泪不流都已经算好咯。流眼泪让我觉得我自己很没用。可能我真的很没用。

好想找个地方，发呆。。。以前我不会发呆，从山上回来后，好爱发呆喔。发呆很好阿。在自己的世界。。灵魂可能飞到某一个地方。。好想在海边发呆。。。。。。

笨

2011-11-04T04:53:00.004+08:00

做了一件超笨的事。我怎么会寄一封那么笨的pm给她们？不寄还不会那么尴尬。笨死了。

其实是要寄给一个而已。怕这样她会很在意所以就干脆寄完给5个。笨！！！！！

昨天，矮爸爸说我最近太negative了。太grey了。因为我说，我和跳舞的缘分已经完了。哇！一生人很少听到有人这样说我。我回他。grey一点都不错阿。太positive就会想我以前一样。认为全部都会happy ending。有希望！！这样知道了现实会很伤的。期望变失望。。如果我变成一个grey，negative，icy cold的人。那以后我就没什么期望。这样我就不会受伤了。现在还没踏出社会。以后我的工作，我觉得我需要变成一个冷漠的人。这样就不会有太多情绪，不会有太多信任，不会有受伤。读到了一篇不知道是不是给我的句子。如果我那么黑暗的看这世界，阳光永远都进不来我的生命。以前啊，我太多阳光照进我的生命。让我的眼被刺的什么都看不清楚。都是暗一点比较好。

我今天说2pm以前笑容很多，以前是很天真的一个团体。没了他们的队长后，变沉默了。人啊。经历了不同东西后，笑容会变少因为现实很残忍。人不能总是那么天真。因为这样会被人笑。人不能那么乐观，因为现实本来就残忍。人不能那么多期望，因为这样会跌的很伤。。。。人经历了一些事后，会有改变的。虽然我的经历不是很严重，可是对我而言，我需要改变。

所以我需要变成一个冷漠的人。可能对人我还是会保持我这所谓开心的样子。可是，心里，最好保持冷漠的心。这样应该会把伤害减少。而且，要有点自视。以后做一个冷漠的人可能会对同事不好，可是起码对自己是好的。假一点，蛮好的。因为这样就不会让人知道太多自己的优缺点。

最重要是，不要放太多感情。以前觉得，有什么事，大声哭。伤心的事会跟眼泪流出来，然后抹掉就什么事都可以解决。现在觉得，什么都掉眼泪，很烦。我应该要收起我的眼泪。虽然现在还做不到。可是，我一定能变成一个冷漠的人。让我的心，有一个冰墙围着它。保护它。

My dance group - Dawn's Arch??

2011-11-01T00:59:00.006+08:00

Dawn's Arch
Leader : Freezee

Members:
Kuggit Gee (Malla)
Jean Chan (Jean)
Chrisaiden Lee Dh (Chris)
Hau Yeen Lance 孝燕 (Lance)
Chee Yeng (CY)
Estee Ang (Estee)
Casey Fan (Cat)
Christy Lim (CL)
Laisan Wong (LS)

someone asked me.. when will i stand on the stage again...
someone asked me.. what is DA performing in mid valley?
someone asked me.. what is DA doing now?
someone asked me.. when you will meet DA again..

the answer for all the questions is DONT KNOW!
i don't know when will i stand on stage again
i don't know what they are performing..
i don't know what they are doing..
i don't know when will i meet them..
i just don't know!!!!

someone said.. why you so funny one.. donno anything bout your own group.. that's because .... it's not my group anymore... everytime i tried to smile when they asked me all these questions..but my heart hurt like hell..

一個常常開心的人，一崩潰，比誰都慢好起來。因為要她崩潰是很難的。不要告訴她，你那麼樂觀，很快好啦。其實是相反。就是因為太難讓他崩潰，所以如果有一天他崩潰了，是很難好的。有誰知道？

我沒有對過任何人痛哭一場。其實每一個人問我時，我眼淚會掉可是還是會勉強笑。然後說，我沒事。我本來就很愛哭。眼淚沒甚麼的。可是其實我有事。我要退出時，想了很久，很難做了決定。心真的很傷。寫那封信，崩潰了一次。因為我覺得我沒有選擇。然後發生事後，全部人叫我不要衝動，考慮久一點。冷靜點。好。想了一個星期，覺得全部是誤會，我不想後悔。所以決定了要回去。這一個星期又崩潰了。我也有委屈。可是那一點委屈不會比友誼重要。這一個星期，哭到嘔。眼淚可以裝幾桶。眼睛腫得像鬼。決定了。想回去。

有人告訴我，珍惜接下來的日子。想想夢想，想想他們。ok。有人告訴我忘記以前的事，想想未來。ok。有人告訴我，listen to your heart，you want to go back, then go back。ok。有人告訴我，回去要改所有壞習慣，ok。有人告訴我，running away wouldn't solve problem. if you appreciate our relationship, then should not conclude everything like this. ok。你們的每一句話，我都記得。

我想了很久。哭了很久。終於決定了。可是竟然沒有被接受回去。心被割第三次。如果沒有要我回去，幹嘛講那麼多？？？？？？我的心不是人心嗎？為甚麼？不要跟我講那麼多如果沒有要我回去。我也是會傷心的。其實我一直到處找朋友喝茶，是因為我不要一個人。一個人會讓我很多東西想。我不要安靜。我以前從不會主動call人喝茶。主動去找人。現在我是甚麼？一直對外笑笑，心其實沒有真心的笑。開心的我在那裡？我主動跟你講話，因為我不想後悔，我覺得我們的友誼還是重要。不是要拉回關係。讓我容易回去。我真的只是想做回朋友。我不想失去你們這群姊妹。可是。。。。。。。。。。我很想去mid valley。可是，我很怕。我很怕再被傷。我也很怕你們看到我，表演興致消失。我覺得我是你們眼中不想見到的人。跟application沒有分別。可笑吧！本來是團員，過後變成討厭的人。我接受不到。

我很想痛哭一場。

anyeonghaseyo! we are DAwn's Arch! can i still say this?
i don't dare to upload this pic.. cause i know they are back to their normal life now.. i don't want to stir up their emotions.. either mad or upset or sad..

28.9.2011 my goodbye stage..

Jagiyah... Leader... Partner.. Fashion Designer.. Maknae.. believe it or not.. you girls had a very important place in my heart.. every single one..

原來。。。。。。。

2011-11-01T00:54:00.002+08:00

原來我還很在意。。。。
原來我眼淚還沒流完。。。
原來我還不習慣。。。。
原來我傷口還在流血。。。
原來我還忘不了。。。
原來心還痛。。。
原來我放不下。。。
原來我還沒站回來。。。
原來我還在乎。。。
原來我還期望。。。

原來一切變回憶了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

久違的一天

2011-10-23T00:25:00.002+08:00

今天帶著愛睡的狀態去kpop party。一路上有說說笑笑。第一次和R團家族一起。很好笑。看他們rehearsal，一起吃午餐，終於要開始了。有點緊張因為要見到兩個團員。從那間事開始，很久沒見他們。一直在想會不會尷尬。可是我自己是沒怎樣啦。因為過去了。可是很怕他們尷尬。會不會沒有東西講。

開始不久後，他們來了。第一眼見面是很遠的地方。我在跟別人講話。見到他們，我第一個反應是開心的揮手。然後見到他們，只覺得他們很高＝＝｜｜｜因為他們穿高根鞋。沒有任何尷尬，沒有任何感覺，就很自然。好像甚麼都沒發生過。只是過了一陣子，我才回神。喔。原來剛才沒有尷尬耶。原來我們那麼久沒見面，不會有想像中的尷尬。如果是跟她見面，也會沒事嗎？

想了一下，音樂響起，我就沒想了。繼續享受party。到跳舞的時候，R團開始需要拉人了，當然我們也會被拉。我們是先全部去中間，然後到rania，我們就被推上台了。其實我沒有表演過這首，不過chorus可以跟他們一起跳，過後我們就很忙了跳舞，很high的玩。一切快結束時，我需要跟R團回了。到了安靜的後台，坐著的時候，突然很多感觸來了。

哇。好久沒有那麼開心了。好久沒有跳舞了。好久沒跟團員瘋了。剛才站在台上，很享受，不怕是因為還是有他們陪著。所以跳的很安心。以後應該沒機會了吧。我很想念他們5人。想念我們一起瘋。想著想著，突然淚水又來了。所以我就快快走來走去，這樣才不會想，不會哭。丟臉耶。當他們說，會call我出來，我很期待。

可是過後，有點笑不出了。所以在車裡，跟他們逛街時，一直在想很多東西。我那矮爸爸看得出我不開心。所以他有盡量跟我講話。當他們做按摩椅時，我又有時間想了。剛才我們大家好像甚麼都沒發生，一樣的high，可是其實已經發生了。

我相信他們對我的真心。可是，我想他們問她，她想我回來嗎？因為她比任何人都敏感，所以我很怕她如果看到我回去，一看到我就想到傷口。我不想傷她。其實我回不回都是她的決定。不是因為我壞人給她當。只是我真的不想傷害她。如果她還放不下，可是配合我，讓我回去，她會很辛苦。我不想在團裡給人傷害。我希望他們要我回去是因為我是真的重要。

這一切，很難講明白。因為沒時間。時間過了，久而久之，都忘記了這件事，我退團是事實。友誼也會淡。

想到這些我一直忍著哭。可是又不想跟人講話。有點失神。還跟他們迷失。。。回去路程，後面兩隻猴子睡覺了，我不想講話所以也假裝睡。

今天，有快樂，有期待，有感觸，有心痛，有討厭（因為看到討厭的人！那死人樣可以再串一點！頂！）

很期待下次的見面。我待在家的日子有點要過去了。因為後天要去kuantan！！！！

失望不及後悔大

2011-10-20T15:16:00.002+08:00

華語底質不是很好。可是我想到這句話就覺得很對。我怎麼會那麼厲害的句子？？？哈哈哈哈

我問我自己，過去了就過去了，為甚麼還要去問？為甚麼還要管？不是我好人。我有我生氣和失望的時候。可是。。。失望，生氣，傷心，這些都會隨著時間過而消失。沒有人會生氣一輩子吧。至少我不會。可是後悔一定會一輩子。後悔這個感覺不會消失的。

我生氣她，甚至是他們，失望他們沒有叫我出來open talk。傷心和灰心。我先道歉，我自認我有出力要挽回這段友誼。我本來真的不要再管。如我之前說，我也有我的自尊。可是現在，生氣沒了。如果我放著不管，我們友誼會不會真的沒了？就算結果可能還是挽不回，可是起碼我努力了。也盡力了。所以不會後悔。現在雖然很有可能，把自己又推進去受傷，可是為了這段友誼，蠻值得的。最重要是不要讓自己後悔。不管結果如何，從以前放棄了他開始，我說過不要讓自己後悔。

結果是好是壞都好，真的起碼我努力了。

2011-10-19T02:22:00.002+08:00

不知道是台湾回来后还是怎样，觉得华语比较能表达我的想法。哈哈哈

我很犯贱耶。说了各走各路然后不要管她。可是，，，，看到她上线，好像跟她讲话喔。看着她的名字。在想要怎么开头，想了很久，她下线了。哎。算吧。我很怕待会又伤到她。像上次一样，明明在骂着我，我还白痴突然跟她讲“saranghae” 因为我不知道她在讲我阿。我以为她很大压力。TT

我一直在想，之前退出理由是要保住友谊。可是，没想到还是保不住。常常对自己说，不要管了。反正我有时也不喜欢她讲话方式阿。可是老实说，对她又不是到讨厌。还是关心的。想到我们一起去帮人拍照。蛮开心的。可以跟她聊天也开心。因为觉得聊天后她会没有那么大压力。

可惜一切，都过去了。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

生氣

2011-10-18T04:04:00.002+08:00

我沒有經歷過你們的生活。難道我一直從那麼遠去練舞是假的嗎？難道我是富家小姐嗎？早知道我就不要顧慮我們的友誼。退出了就不要吃回頭草。現在還被人家嫌棄不讓我回。又不理我。好啊！隨便你們怎麼說我無情無意！其實說穿了！！！是你逼走我的。以前那位也是你逼走。現在也是。你們就過你們的生活吧。

我從小到大都有一個座右銘。不吃回頭草。可是為了你們。我沒有了骨氣。竟然吃回頭草。到頭來還是沒有被珍惜。我就是不值得任何人珍惜。那就我自己珍惜自己吧。我們就告一段落。一切就讓他過去。以後就朋友相見。算！

我也有我的自尊，也有我的驕傲。之前我真的真的很內疚讓團那麼多煩惱。也真的很想真心改過。可惜到現在我從你身上看不到要我回去的誠意。有人說，只要雙方都有誠意挽留這段友誼，一定能忘記過去。我覺得我已經付出了誠意。但看不到另一方有付出。那我要怎麼樣？說真的。不是一隻手能排的響。你受了很多委屈那我沒有嗎？你們說我的錯誤都是最近才發生的可是你們說得像是一直以來都是這樣。因為最近錯誤，把我兩年的努力都抹殺掉。我不委屈嗎？可是影說忘記過去，最重要是以後。所以我都盡量不想。只要改過，那就沒問題了。只要我改。我一直這樣想。可是你沒有給機會回去改過。你沒有要改善我們感情。我這個禮拜一直在等。等待那一天我們見面，我要好好道歉，然後大家擁抱。忘記過去。哼！！！！！！！！沒有人要我留下。

這次我真的灰心也很生氣。我以前讀那邊文章的時候，沒有生氣，只是很傷心。可是這次我真的很生氣。不管你們以後要說我小氣還是怎樣，我就是生氣。也沒有誠意沒有任何期待。是你把我完全的逼走。是你完全的讓我失望。我也是人。也有情緒。我不管以後你們怎麼講我。可是我現在就是生氣。

為甚麼以前有人離開？是他的錯，他放棄了夢想。她小氣。為甚麼我離開又是我的錯，我放棄他們。我們都是有同一個理由。難道他沒錯嗎？他說要我給機會讀他的信息。好。我讀了。耶冷靜了。也想改進。可惜沒人珍惜。沒人要給機會。我先道歉，然後體諒她沒有錯因為如果我是她，我也會誤會。體諒後，也放棄了我的骨氣和座右銘。想要回去。到現在可笑的讓人嫌棄。我真的食世界上最笨笨笨笨笨的人。只有我需要體諒，需要改。抱歉！我的自尊告訴我，已經是底線。

請記得，現在是你負了我。是你不要我回去。是你讓我灰心。是你先把我當外人。以後我們就各走各路！

speechless

2011-10-07T04:12:00.003+08:00

my life seems pathetic after all.. and i seems useless.. not a good daughter.. friend..member..dancer..student..worker..sister.. wow! i'm not good

that's why i don't have bf la!!! how to attract ppl while you are good in NOTHING? sorry DA

and i am selfish.. i keep searching for their blogs beause i want to know how they feel and their problems everyday.. but i never let anyone to know this blog..

she said i lost or lack of trust towards my members.. actually it's because i never trust myself.. i trusted them last time.. i was confidence last time.. but after this incident.. every single tweets.. every single words, everything.. always makes me wonder are they scolding me? are they talking bout me? i lost trust now.. i used to trust myself for being a good member and friend. but now i lose that trust on myself.. since the day i realized i am not a good member, i lost trust, everything.. i'm overly sensitive i realized.. but i can't stop it.. because i'm lack of confidence... in fact... i lose it.. so i can't help but being over sensitive..

i felt stupid for not understanding their previous tweets.. half people asked me to go back so that i don't regret for the rest two months.. some people said i should just pull out if it's suffering.. and lose trust among each other.. and why let them make my life suffered..

i chose to go back because i want to maintain the relationship.. while isn't that reason is why i quit at the first place? so if i can't maintain the friendship now, it's not worth it when i make such breaking heart decision...

for the beginning till the end, the whole incident, seems to be my fault.. everyone (well at least those that involved) pointed out my mistakes and all these mistakes caused this to happen... i agreed that all this caused by me.. but who will realize.. i did'nt mean it.. lots of things happen for a reason.... and some of the mistake that they mentioned.. i only done it once.. but it's remembered often.. i'm now viewed as a person that caused lots lots lots of troubles and mistakes.. but i got my own reason for those actions that i showed.. nobody will understand... because majority said i'm a trouble maker.. slowly.. even myself convinced that i'm a trouble maker.. by thinking back on all this.. i am convinced that i'm the one who caused all these and make them tired..................

no excuse for myself... no reason... i am tired........................................... suddenly i realized.. they only know me for 2 years actually.. my best friends who know me for more than 10 yrs... knows me very well.. we understand each other feelings... each others thinking.. and after we fight or argued, we never remember those after the incident.. but not everyone like that.. sometimes.. those that had said... will hurt their feelings and that will caused scar in their heart.. so it's my fault for thinking everyone should know what kind of person i am.. in this world.. only God knows me very well... that i don't mean lots of things.. in the end.. it's still my fault.. why am i like this??????????

自信呢？

2011-10-07T03:39:00.003+08:00

其實為甚麼我會受到那麼大的打擊。是因為我自己接受不到自己是這樣令人討厭。從小到大，都算是比較受歡迎的人。大家都好像很喜歡我。也養成了我這開心的性格。突然讀到一遍這樣的文章。才會讓自己崩潰。原來我令自己人討厭。如果那遍是別人寫的，我完全不在乎。是自己隊友。才會崩潰吧

突然發現，原來我是這樣的人。這樣不會尊重別人，不會想別人的痛苦，不會看別人心情，不會體諒，反正就甚麼都不會。以前只聽過別人的稱讚，說我多麼善解人意。哈哈原來以前的人騙我耶。所以我現在找不到自己的尊嚴，自己的自信，自己的存在意義，自己的貢獻。真的找不到耶。從被人捧著然後掉地上。跌得很傷很傷。

我一直保存著我開心的形象。就是不要讓他們知道原來我跟他們一起是沒有自信的。從以前在學校做社團編舞隊長，在跳streetdance，一直都讓很多人同意我講的話。當遇到有人跟我想的不一樣。我就完全的表現出我的不滿。因為以前我都可以說服很多人。也因為我是PR，都能讓別人同意我講的話。沒想到我職業病到這樣。他們又不是客人，幹嘛說服他們？他們身分不一樣。是家人。我卻沒想到。

這一切一切都讓我摔的很傷。慢慢的，我沒自信的樣子已經表現出來。真的讓我很煩。可是我找不到我的自信。因為我沒有一樣東西是好的。我已經連我自己都不能說服。以後就乖乖聽別人講還有跟他們的腳步吧。這樣你就安全了。不是我以後不要提出意見，只是我找不到資格提出了。

自信！你會慢慢回來吧？沒有你，我以後怎麼工作！

no where to hide

2011-10-03T18:21:00.002+08:00

i got no where to write my feelings.. everywhere when i write something, it'll misinterpret as i'm trying to gain sympathy or trying to hints... why everyone can write bullshit and scold someone in twitter but when i write it, it's simply trying to get attention.. can't i write bullshit too?

i made an important decision last week in my life.. its my first time breaking down emotionally.. i never cried like this in my life.. my heart never break like this into pieces before..before this, in Church Camp, pastor asked anyone need prayer of heeling their broken heart, i couldn't think of a moment where i'm totally hurt and still have a wound in my heart.. therefore i didnt step out.. but still Pastor came and prayed for me.. i don't understand what she was praying last time.. now i knew it.. i really need that prayer.. now~~ because my heart breaks..

these few days, everyone included my love ones keep asking me.. WHY WHY WHY WHY... why do i gave up on them.. why do i gave up on my dream.. why do i do this to them.. why do i make them so tired.. why do i think nonsense.. honestly.. i can tell everyone loudly.. i'm the one who suffered the most when i make this decision... i'm the one who is the most tired and depress when i make this decision... but no one knows.. it's just two months more to hang on.. if i only care bout my dream.. my stage.. i will just continue without knowing anything... for the big stages that coming.. but i can't hang on because i need to maintain our friendship.. everyone said i think too much.. but no one can answer my question "tell me what's the point staying in the group after u read the blog"" no one can answer me that... i know it's all misunderstanding.. and continuously i keep telling myself... actually u can't blame her from misunderstanding.. if i'm in her position.. i will misunderstood too.. but i can't stop myself remember every single words from her blog.. do u know how hard is it for me? nobody knows.. just like han kyung.. last time.. we used to scold him and mad at him for giving up on his brothers.. making his brothers suffered.. but if he wasn't suffered till he can't stand it.. he wouldn't do that decision.. it's really hard..

right now, everyone said chill, and u can go back cause they will welcome u.. even they said that.. but when u are chilled, think about it.. can everyone pretend nothing happens? we continue our life like nothing happen? if i go back, it'll only be awkward for us.. so another question, what's the point of going back now? because of my dream and my stages? i don't care bout those compares to their feelings.. i don't want them to be awkward.. i want them to be crazy like last time.. i used to be very naive.. i wanted to be naive this time.. go back pretend nothing happen! dance on the stage! but i can't do that now.. i'm forced to think multiple times now.. i don't care bout the fame on stage now.. i care bout them.. stage and performances are nothing compare to them... of course i do feel sad that i couldn't stand on stage with them anymore.. that breaks my heart too but what really breaks my heart was.. i have to leave them...

nobody understands.. everyone will just keep blaming the one who break up... just like a couple.. the one who breaks up is always the evil one.. it's ok.. let them be.. i don't mind getting scolded.. whenever they scold me, not that i'm gonna lose some meat.. all i want now is.. we can still be friends.. that's what really meant for me.. in my life, besides God and family, friendship is the important element.. i don't want to lose it..

My Testimonial

2010-06-20T01:43:00.003+08:00

this is my first testimonial and i was chosen to share it in cell harvest.. i post it here to share with everyone that read the blog.. it's just my personal life and how i gone through the life before and after becoming Christian.. it's a bit long.. haha but bee lee and su ying.. (of course others too) i hope u will read it fro beginning till the end.. Manndee knew it already.. enjoy!!

Before

i was a christian since young.. i followed my aunt to church because i stayed with her. after i moved to Genting when i was 10, i attended the genting church as well. but at that time, i'm going just for the sake of going because my friend ask me to, and her mum will give me a weird look as if i'm a bad child if i don't go. so i went just to avoid being asked by the uncles and aunties. i do not understand a word or meaning but everytime during worship, i'll always cry, i don't understand why. one of the uncle said, because God love me. but i still don't understand why. during secondary school, i started to keep my religion as a secret because i don't want people around me to see me as someone holy, and i felt like it's a burden to be a christian, elders in church told me cannot go out late, cannot wear short pants or skirts, cannot do this cannot do tht. so i refuse to tell everyone i'm a christian. i afraid people will say that, eh u christian cannot do this one.. i don't want to destroy the image of christians. unless in situation that couldn't avoid as in Ic or any form, i'll put my religion as christian. weirdly, whenever i have problem, i always pray to Jesus. i only pray to Him no others even though i've change my religion before.

encounter

until 18 yrs old when i came to KL, i had a water tumor in my stomach, it had been in my body since young but i do not realized it. i thought i was just growing fatter and fatter. the tumor is not dangerous unless it burst. when i found out and went to doctor, it's already 13 CM. the doctor was really surprise that it didn't burst or put me in danger. she was so shock and told me to remove it as soon as possible. what was even more shocking to her was i went to breakdance classes every week and including the day before my medical check up.. i even press it everyday to make it smaller. the doctor said it is kind of miracle that it didn't burst. i still remember before i went into the operation room, i was praying really hard. i never be that sincere in my whole life. i was telling God "please save me, please cure me." and of course He did it. even though the operation went longer than it should be but here i am, He protected me. even a doctor was surprise that it didn't burst, so who else could it be that saved my life? only God. i knew the answer and i was thankful during that moment. however, i didnt attend any church or cells.

Salvation

after a year, i met Shin Yi in my cousin's house and she invited me to CoUZ, at first, i thought since it's all college students, it will be great if i get to meet more ppl from different colleges. 2008 january, i attended the first couz night, and i had fun. the game was fun, the worship songs were upbeat and nice, the pastor was funny so i enjoyed going there. after few months, i joined Sheep united, it started to makes me think that, "it's not boring to worship, it's not boring to listen to the stories in Bible." Worship can be fun. and i accepted Christ once again in mission Trip. after seeing so many people got saved by God and how He changed their life, i felt the reason i attend couz and cell is because of God, not because of other college students.

Praise

for these two years, there are lots of changes in my life. i'm not afraid to tell other people i'm a christian, i'm not afraid to tell people that i'm not free during friday night because of cell. and i found the meaning of worshiping God, it's not just to sing according to the lyrics but to praise Him on everything he did. He sacrifice himself for someone small and imperfect. he changes my relationship with my family, he changes my thinking on certain issues. before this, i only pray to God when i have problem and blame everything if it didn't come according to my ways. now i tend to be thankful on everything i got and to think that every failure or suffer has a reason, God wanted to make me stronger. we are even closer during Couz Camp, he replied my prayers through different ways and in the end He just wants me to know that he love me. he listens to me. even though i'm not a perfect daughter, He still love me more than anyone else. that is the question in my heart, he confirm and even double confirm with me that He loves me. He sent different people to bring me back to him so that i won't get lost anymore, i thank god that He sent Shin Yi, Ciss, Melody, James to bring me back to Him, i thank God that he answered my prayer and told me he love me through different ways. i thank God that He sent Mellisa to hug me when i requested for a hug. i thank God for answering my prayers even though some of it are weird prayers to show me You are always there to listen to me. besides that, i thank God that He sent awesome people to be my best friends in my life. He knows how important these people are to me and how much they meant to me.

many people asked me why am i so lucky on this or that, now, my answer is because i got a great Father that arranged everything that is best for me.

summary of last three months

2010-03-31T19:24:00.005+08:00

after a long time, i decided to update my blog finally... lots o things happen in this three months.. my life was busy and i really enjoyed it because i had a good holiday that full of things that i like.. even though i'm not working... too many things to talk about for the last three months

summary of each month

january - the first week suffered from suspected dengue.

really had a hard time.. didn't know i have fever for 6 days.. dizzy and couldnt eat anything.. just feel like sleeping all the time.. even 5 minutes in the car i can fall asleep.. faint in the toilet for the first time in my life before trip to Penang... after that.. finally go to visit hospital.. and no more fever at that time.. but still suspected so i did blood test for 4 days.. even though the doctor said i'm getting better.. but because i have low blood pressure.. so after four days of losing blood... i look like i'm going to die soon.. face look paler and paler.. anyway Thank God i'm fine now..

- performed Charity Show in Korea Plaza

even though did some mistakes in the first performance.. but really enjoyed it.. it's fun!

February - Chinese New Year

- eat eat eat that is how i gained 2.5 KGs in two weeks!!

March - Performance in Matta Fair 2010

on saturday.. PDF!! Progression.. Dawn's Arch and Frequency.. i'm under DA (yes ying i officialy joined them..) representing Super Junior Fans Club...first time dancing this song.. solo.. nervous and happy..invited by Korea Tourism Organization to promote Kpop..

on Sunday, performance with the 2PM fans club... whole day full of Drawing Men.. kind of used to the stage.. not nervous.. even when i did mistakes.. but met coollllll people!! the 4 drawing mens.. their show is called Drawing Show.. if u haven't seen my video.. go to my facebook..

- Start School

- Super Show II

Super Show to be continue in the next post..

Super Show II Live in Malaysia part 1

2010-03-22T21:08:00.028+08:00

this will be a very long post because i don't want to lose any details.. when i read back in the future.. i hope this post is detail enough to remind me every single moment..

ok Super Show II is Super Junior's concert.. usually people around me know that i love them very much that i even planned to go Bangkok and Taiwan for their concert.. but because of certain reasons i couldn't go... i was so disappointed but in the end.. they decided to come to Malaysia.. it's like a miracle to me.. even though the members are not complete due to some reasons.. i was really hoping to see them.. they are the first group that i spend money on them.. i watched many concerts in my life but i never pay one cent for it.. they are the first group.. and i bought RM458 rock zone just to see them closer and have more interaction.....

weeks before the concert i was busy preparing for performance and i didn't get a chance to memorize the fan chants and lyrics.. after matta fair's performance, finally have a chance to continue my SUJU's week.. was really excited for it.. even though before the concert we'll have shooting in Bukit Jalil, i can't wait for the day... 320 is one of the biggest day in my life..

well two weeks before the concert i was informed to replace one of the member for a dance..i joined their crew but this dance they practice it before i joined.. so i was busy memorizing the steps.. improving it.. and the positions.. i got two different performances on different day where i have to learn new steps...

after the performances... i tot i finally got chance to memorize all the lyrics.. fan chants.. and make it Suju week.. after few days.. i found out that i have to replace another member who couldn't make it for a shooting..(it's for a Korean station called Arirang who aimed for international viewers.. they hope to shoot about how malaysians like kpop..) then i have to memorize new positions... i don't know why but i was unhappy for that shooting... i don't want anything to disturb me on that day... it's for super junior alone.. anyway no choice so we have to shoot.. to think on bright side.. we appeared and dance in international station..

on friday.. since i'm going to stay over in my friend's house.. and my mum going up to genting in the morning.. so i followed my friends which are the fans club committee members to KLIA to "pick" SJ.. i want to gain experience and see how it's like.. haha we gathered in monorail and go to one of my friend's house becaue her father is fetching us to KLIA (so good~~~) SJ arrived at 4.30pm... we arrived in KLIA around 2... because my friends are mostly fans club committee and for this concert... they combined with other fans clubs in Malaysia and Singapore.. so they have to gather everyone... briefing.. and discuss what to do... the committee and the coordinator have their own tag.. which are meant to protect SJ from the fans.. so they have to stand in front and don't allow the fans to push or pull SJ.. bcoz i was there so they put me as coordinator.. and we were placed in different places so in every venue there are coordinators... i choose the lift... less crowd... hehe

we were busy chit chatting beside the lift and i become the lift girl.. because the tourists have luggage bags so they couldn't hold the button when they walk in.. then i'll hold the door for them.. after a while.. i even say "welcome and enjoy in malaysia" to most of the tourists... in my super junior fans club's shirt... kakaka...

then we got some news from other forum's member that SJ might use VIP lane..because we still don't see any guards or security around us.. i seriously have no feeling even i don't get to see them.. bcoz i'm going to their concert... so i was thinking if i get to see them today.. it's a bonus.. and none of us know where is the VIP lane.. around 4.15pm.. two air stewardess passed by and asked us who are we waiting for.. i chatted with them.. i told them we are waiting for SJ.. one of them know SJ and told me her sister love them.. she hope we could take more pics and tag her in facebook.. haha i showed her a disappointed face and said maybe we don't get to see them... and i asked her where is the VIP lane.. both of them look confused.. and they said maybe at level 5? which is the departure hall... but they are not sure.. cause very few VIP will use that lane... so she said maybe u can try your luck there... two of the members ran up to check.. and one of the member who just landed down from another country said SJ landed already.. so we didnt expect to see them already.. after a while my friend called and asked us to go up.. but they are not sure bout it.. they just saw polices there..

so we walked up.. we couldn't call others or spread the news cause all of us are not sure... once we walked up.. we saw something that we can't

stop laughing... got 4 alphard vans/cars parking there.. with two polices.. and AND got paper stated "artist 1, artist 2, artist 3 and artist 4" in front of the cars.. eh come on la..if u want to make it low profile.. while tells everyone that cars are for artists.. and which group will need four vans to fit in the members.. by the time we confirm..

after 5 minutes.. we heard screaming already.. they are here!!! at first we (four videographers) said we'll each take one car... i want car 2.. so i walked there.. then i saw them.. and whole group of fans and security..

somehow i felt the fans are scary so i moved away from car 2 when they come nearer.. yes i moved further from SJ... i moved backwards

to car 3.. i got crowd phobia.. so i moved to car 4.. away from the crowd.. but i get to see SJ cause they are so fair.. tall and outstanding.. akakaka.. and the security somehow love to bully me.. the one that didn't even scream or push.. just standing there with my camera.. preparing to record.. but the korean guards keep pushing my hands and ask me not to record.. well EVERYONE besides me are recording~ why u only bully me??? i just keep raising my hands once they push my hands... and one of the girl(staff) cover my camera with her hands.. so my videos can only see the floor.. and her hand.. next time i should scream like a crazy fans so that they won't bully me... :(

before the other SJ members walk to the car..

i feel my phone vibrating.. then i realized.. i actually need to run back to my friend's car.. but behind me were all the fans so i couldn't move.. i was so stupid enough to push the guard's hand and run towards my friends car... at the same time there were SJ members walking into the car.. but i wasn't running towards them.. i ran straight.. the members must be thinking.. this girl don't like us?? i felt so sorry for them.. while i was running.. i actually don't remember which is my friend's car.. but i just keep running straight.. and i afraid to cross the road because i afraid SJ's car will knock on me.. i know i think a lot when i was running.. but i'm just weird.. haha.. then i heard lots of people screaming my name.. so i saw my friends waiting in the car and i ran towards them... haha.. once i get into the car.. SJ car moved in front of us.. so we get to follow them.. haha it's so exciting actually.. good experience..

on the highway.. polices lead the cars and the guards followed at the back.. and we followed behind.. we realized not only us following them.. there were other fans.. one from singapore.. and they are very dangerous.. they always use the right lane to be beside SJ cars and tried to go near them... we were so worried.. luckily the guard keep them away from SJ.. then the guard make us to the right lane as well.. we couldn't drive too slow so we passed by their cars..and i gave them a very funny face because i saw black mirror... "ceh.. why cannot see one :(" then i realized.. shit.. they can see me even though i can't see them.. haih~~~

we are in front of them after a while... but suddenly.. Rain~~~ it's really heavy rain so we decided not to follow already.. we don't want ourself to be in danger and put them into danger as well... we head straight to star hill because we will h

ave shooting in Pavilion later.. while we were walking to pavilion... we heard screaming from a hotel.. of course.. all of us ran there.. we saw guards around and the four alphard.. kakaka.. we really got fate with them.. i walked to the back of the van.. and chat with the guard.. (PR ma..) and the guard somehow trust me.. so he didn't block me and even allow me to put my hand on his shoulder while recording.. hahaha... they came out after 5 minutes.. and the fans keep pu

shing.. i afraid the fans will hurt each other so i was shouting "don't push don't push" and some of them saw my coordinator pass.. they believe that i'm their coordinator... SJ members were so near to me.. and i didn't scream as usual.. cause everyone were screaming.. it's so loud.. i'm only used to scream in concert.. hahhaah and when they're far.. how can u scream so loud when someone is near to u? i can't...

anyway.. saw them for 2 minutes... after they get into the car.. i was busy pulling fans to stay away from the cars cause i afraid their feets will kena from the tyre.. i'm weird yes i know...

haha then we walked to pavilion in a happy mode..we tot fo going to dinner first but the director want us to shoot first then they will rush to bukit jalil to shoot SJ's rehearsal..in this shooting.. we have to pretend to be Speedy's customers and we are interested in the korean albums.. we'll take a look and discuss bout it... for this simple scene.. we shoot for 20 minutes.. we discuss bout those albums for 15 minutes.. u can see us like "wah super junior new album.. wah big bang.. got new songs in it.. wah got wonder girls album..."

then because i took off my MYSJ shirt so the director asked me to be the customer and interviewed me.. basically i was lying all the time... hahhaa like "how often u come to speedy? how many korean albums u have at home.." even though director said don't always talk about SJ only.. but i just can't help relate all the questions to them.. hahaha..

and we went dinner after that.. chit chatted and really enjoyed it..

we head back to own's house after dinner.. i followed my friend back to her house...we discussed bout the experience and facebook till 2am and i was too sleepy.. so i sleep first.. end of the day~~~

100th Days

2009-12-17T23:58:00.002+08:00

100th days of what you may ask but only certain people will understand what this mean.

it's already 100th days since the day you stepped into the airport and take the flight back to seattle... i still remember watching the video where you walked with your head down... photos that shows your face with lots of worries... it seems like you are back to your old life now in a place you are comfortable with, with people that you love and doing the things that you enjoyed.. i'm happy for you of course but please don't forget, there are people waiting for you to come back... no matter how long it takes.. u are too good to disappear.. tired of waiting? it will never happen...

Please think of us and your brothers sometimes while you are enjoying your life in the other side.. but no matter how... if you are happy.. i think everyone will be happy... i miss your laughter and your tiny eyes when you smile... Take care and God bless....

2009-12-13T20:15:00.002+08:00

Christy :)

Congratulations on your C! You've done very well throughout the course. You scored a 'C' for both your first and third assignments with a distinction for your second assignment. When all three were calculated your total came upto only a few points below a 'D'. Your assignments moderated at UniSA also returned as satisfactory for a 'C'. A 'C' is a good grade and you should be proud of yourself for all the effort you put into your work.

Happy Holidays.

this is the response from my lecturer

C is not a good grade for me especially in a subject that i supposed to do better... i scored a C on my video assignment? why? honestly why!! done very well? then i supposed my grades should be higher... maybe some of u might think C is good enough but it's not good in a subject that i got the most confidence... only few points below a D?? why can't u just give me a D??? i can't believe this.. still cannot.. although i recheck my result again and again.. i seriosuly think they put the wrong grades under the wrong subject..

Grades are not great

2009-12-12T23:36:00.002+08:00

i cna't believe what i saw just now!!! argh~~~ how can i get a C for my fav and most confident subject! a freaking CCCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!! what's wrong... she told me i got D for my flahs... does that mean my video drag my marks down? i followed everything she said!!! somehow the assignemnt that i put the most hope and effort in lower down my grades!! i don't start an assignment 2 weeks before the due date! i double checked it everyday!! just to make sure my video is perfect!! what is wrong!!!!!

i don't care bout other assignments cause i'm glad that i passed... and somehow for International Media Communication which i always put on my mp3 in the class wihtout listening to the lectures and doesn't care much about the world .... i got Distinction ... what the HELLLLLLLLL!!!!! i'm seriously upset right now that i couldn't get high marks on the subject that i supposed to do well... the level of upset surpass the level of happiness for getting D... i want the D to be put in IFTP... not IMC... maybe with the help of vanessa i get an idea to critique about the article but somehow i dont think i deserve a D... are u SERIOUS!!!

honestly i was dreaming to get a HD for this subject.. because that's what i want to do for my future.. tv and film production... then i realized australia won't give u HD... so i really expect to get a D... it's not like other assignments lower down my marks.. i got D in flahs... it's the final assignment which i really put all my effort in... WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One Population One World

2009-12-02T01:07:00.005+08:00

Upcoming Events by CreatiVision

Theme: One Population, One World
Date: 31 December 2009
Time: after 6pm - midnight
Venue: Padang Esplanade, Penang

The Official State New Year Countdown Concert cum 53rd Georgetown Day Celebration

Initiated by: Rainbow of Life Forces (ROLF) in support of United Nation Childrens' Fund (UNICEF)
The Largest Dance Class - A World Record Attempt in support of UNICEF on Dec. 30, 2009

Sources from: http://www.9-creativision.com/main.html

CreatiVision has appointed and confirmed Super Junior Malaysia Fans-site (MYSJ) as the official dance instructor for 1 Population 1 World campaign.

please support this event and have party together for good cause!!! Let's go party!! in Penang!! Spread this news please!!

video will be upload soon for you to learn the dance... msg me if you want to learn it personally...

anticipation

2009-10-27T00:22:00.003+08:00

since last week when i found out the date that my fave band having concert in Bangkok next month.. i really have the feelings to go.. and i always want to go to Bangkok because i never been there before.. then i started to ask around whether are they interested to go together.. they didn't reject me and say will consider bout it.. i was so excited... i started to do research..where is the stadium... hotels that near the stadium... how to get there.. what to eat.. where to go.. what attractions..

after doing so many research i really want to go so badly.. of course 50% is because SJ is not coming to malaysia for concert and next year... they might disband... of course it's not confirmed but their contract is almost expired.. so i afraid if i dont get to watch their concert.. i will really regret...

another 50% is because i want to shop and visit Bangkok with my best friends... my mood went up after looking for so many hotels... attractions... everything seems so good.. safari world.. flea market...

suddenly just now i was thinking... what if after i plan everything but my friends told me they cant go with me.. then i'll really fall into hell... of course this post is not to push any of you that i invited but i was just thinking....

should i not get so excited first before everything is confirm? the more i expect the more i'll be disappoint after that... i've spent so much time on this trip but this is my first time planning a trip.. especially with friends.. i can totally understand my family's worries.. i want to bring my mum along.. i don't mind her following but she'll be bored.. my aunts couldn't follow... my dad is working... my brother is working... so she refused to go with my friends...

out of sudden all i become really emo and started to think.. maybe all the imaginations will not appear in real life... maybe the trip wouldn't exist.. who knows.. God! i'll leave it to You of course because You already planned everything in my life..

Media Forum

2009-10-09T00:57:00.002+08:00

last week and this week we have to write two commentaries and two responses on our classmates commentaries.. i made a record today where i'm the first one who submit the response.. the record is that i submit early in the morning a day before due date which is rare for me cause i will only have 'feelings' to do assignments when due date is near.. then when i was checking out some classmates response.. a girls response to my commentary... hahaha.. i never imagine people will actually read my commentary because i felt it's a bit crappy and boring... but i read positive comments on it.. besides a part where she disagree with my example because i just was rushing yesterday and simply put in one... other than that.. she likes my commentary... i know it's not something to be proud of but i'm so damn happy.. hahaahaha this is her conclusion

Nevertheless the author has done a decent job in writing this piece of commentary, acting as an eye opener for readers by showing her very own perspectives towards the pursuit of happiness. Author has helped me to realize the route to happiness is simplicity and it makes all the difference to change the mood of a person by showing small little appreciation to the one you love.

i never have a decent job in writing.. i love this girl... hahahaha thank you

Enough of emo

2009-10-07T01:44:00.005+08:00

i ust realized my previous posts are emo post... let's post something that is happy.. well at least for me...

for mid autumn festival? after mother, brother and his gf... my mum brought me to Herbaline for facial spa!! it's only RM28 for first trial... well i just want to try... it's so good!!! i spent two hours there.. i felt like i'm a rich girl.. ahahaha...

first... they will have some herbal tea which is sweet and nice for u.. then they bring u to somewhere to put your feet in with salt... after that... you need to smell this aroma for three times.. i choked somehow...

after that.. you goes to a room and change your cloths into their cloths... then she started to massage my head.. shouder... put some oil on my face and massage... repeated a few times... it's so good that i fell asleep... after that.. she used some tool to go around my face and clean "something" don't remember cause i was half asleep when she talked to me..

after that.. she pressed/remove the white head/black head or whatever head on my face... it's so painful that i always cried and hit her on her face.. she said it's my first time so my skin are not open yet or something like that.. then she put some herbal mask for me.. it's cooling and somehow it smell like pandan leave to me.. ahhaha.. after 15 mins i think... she massage my head.. shoulder...hands..then brought me tofish spa.. because i was alone so i kind of put my lege as in as possible and i even put my hand in......... hahaha

then you will get a spa soup with herbal inside to clear bacteria in your body.. all these are included in one facial spa... RM28 for first time! super good~~~

after that.. we went home and i slept till 7pm.. where brother called and say he'll bring us for dinner... we waited till 8pm ==" he just drive without telling us where to have dinner... we chit chat.. talk in the car... we arrived Sri Hartamas... i was telling my mum that there are lots of korean/japanese restaurants here.. we should come here next time.. then my bro walked into the Korean House... so smart.. know that i want to eat korean food... ahahha

the side dishes are realy nice there...... the kimchi are good... better than other places.. we ate alot.. chatted alot... had fun..

that's how i spent my mid autumn day... although didn't have any mooncake... anyway.... i enjoyed it!!! Thank God for all the blessing and love!! Thank you Lord for loving me so much!!

emo

2009-09-02T03:00:00.003+08:00

my tears can't stop dropping right now.. it's really really heart breaking...

my dad showed me some kind of show just now.. the host went to this place in indonesia which is a place that full of whale hunters.. this place is the only legal place to hunt whales.. they have permit to hunt whales because they will have nothing to eat if they don't kill the whales...

Lamalera, on the south coast of the island of Lembata, and Lamakera on neighbouring Solor are the last two remaining Indonesian whaling communities. The hunters have religious taboos that ensure that they use every part of the animal. About half of the catch is kept in the village; the rest is traded in local markets using a barter system.

they used simple weapons to kill the whales.. they even have to jump into the sea and fight with the whales.. it's a really dangerous job.. when my dad told me that they hunt whales to survive.. i couldn't understand and felt upset... because whales are getting lesser and lesser...

but after watching the show.. i felt really sad... seriously.. it's either the people die or the whale die.. if they don't kill the whales.. they will have no food... they don't use money to buy other food... they used the meat to trade other food.. so whale meat is everything to them... but the whales are struggling and you can see blood everywhere once the hunter kill them... the amount of whales are getting lesser now.. in that show, they did not manage to find whales but they get a huge stingray.. however.. it's enough to make me cry.. you see how the stingray struggle.. blood coming out from the body.. it's cruel.. but to the hunters and the people.. it's a joy because that means they got food to eat...

i'm struggling right now because i couldn't say they should stop killing whales because that's their food and 'money'.... but i also couldn't imagine whales getting killed everyday... it's really really sad! and i don't know why the tears keep dropping.. if i got money.. i'll buy them cows.. goats... chickens... or other things... so that they won't kill whales...

haih~~~

Taiwan Typhoon Morakot

2009-08-17T21:12:00.002+08:00

another unexpected disaster... so sorry that i couldn't do much.. i mean i couldn't do anything to help besides praying for you.. i wouldn't understand how u all feel by looking at your house falling within 10 mins.. because i'm staying in a very comfortable house now.. i wouldn't understand how u feel by losing your love one while u just had dinner with them a while ago... i am so sorry that i couldn't understand how u all feel now coz i'm in a comfort zone with my loved one.. all of us are stayed in a comfortable house.. even though it's not as big as others or whatever but at least.. we have a place for us to stay.. to sleep.. Malaysians are so lucky that we wouldn't experience these natural disaster.. but still we complains alot..

we complain that our house no air cond.. not big.. this and that while others lost their houses within 10 minutes.. we complain that mother always nag (which is true) father very strict.. brother always bully me (which is also true) while others lose their family members in one day... we always complain about malaysia but this is the place that protect us from natural disaster.. where can u find a country that never faced natural disaster.. although we had flood but it's not that serious..

we should really thank God that we were born in Malaysia.. with our loves one.. in a very comfortable place.. i don't know bout u but i really appreciate everything i have..

Taiwanese - jia you~ there's nothing we can do but we will pray for you!

Degree 2nd semester

2009-08-13T00:56:00.002+08:00

i started my class last week and i think i'm going to repeat the same thing that i said in the first semester.. if i pass all these subjects i can really go for a big celebration!

Introduction to Film & Tv Production - this is the only class i put my hope in... all about filming and producing short clips.. it's supposed to be a really interesting class.. i miss my ex-lecturer.. coz this one.. i don't know.. i got no comment.. she's not familiar with MAC and she's telling editing is the most important thing.. i don't know.. but i hope i got Distinction like what i got for Intro to Digital media..

International Media Communications - because i recycled my previous notes into a note book.. i spent 2 hours copying whatever i got from the previous notes to keep myself awake.. ==""""""

Advertising: Images, Industry and Audience - i'm worried of the lecturer... i got bad experience with him.. just hope that i'll pass.. or Credit??

Creative feature writing for media - look at the title!! features writing!!! i tot Reporting for Print would be the last writing subject.. what is this?? argh~~

i think i'll cry in the convo if i get to graduate successfully!!

my secret reader

2009-08-07T21:15:00.003+08:00

i didn't realized that i have number of secret readers.. for those of you that read my blog just to talk bad about me in front of others.. or talk bad behind me in front of someone but u afraid that u will 'kena' from me.. so u said to him u read it from my blog... show me which part of my blog mentioned bad things like that in front of me... only losers talk behind and do not dare to face me! if you don't like me.... tell me STRAIGHT!

don't go to someone to talk bad about me.. are u that free??? don't come up with something and said u read it from my blog to make me get scolded... anyway if u dont like me... although i dont know who u are...but i know which 'area' u belongs to.. and i think i won't see u anymore.. when u tell someone else that u read something from my blog.. i doubt u even know my blog URL... since u want to make up something like this... fine... u're not affecting my life and i don't even give a damn on what u said... dont' try to destroy my reputation in front of someone... yes he believed you.. so? u don't get anything and i'm sure u will get the same treatment soon! karma...

and just to tell u the truth! THIS IS MY BLOG! OWN PERSONAL BLOG! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?

here's a song for u..

it's a really nice song.. it's my fav song nowadays... the meaning of the song is for playboy.. but i would like to change the front part...from a group named 2NE1...

"hey loser, it's about time.. and your time's up.. i had to do this for my own good u know? sometimes i gonna act like i don't care. that's the only way u boy/girl learn.."

of course the only part for u is " i don't care eh eh eh eh eh"

if talking bad behind someone makes ur life better.. i pity u... loser!

bon odori 09'

2009-07-24T04:57:00.018+08:00

it's better to be there before 5pm if u want parking and foods...

- i went to Bon Odori with my mum... i wonder how those ppl know it cause i don't see any promotion.. my friend told me bout it.. as usual... people mountain people sea!!! every year it's full of ppl.. honestly.. its quite boring.. but ppl still love to go there.. u can see girls wearing kimono.. people speaking japanese everywhere.. small kids wearing kimonos are really really adorable... but make sure u eat before u go there or else u need to que for maybe 10 mins to get the foods? haha but it worth it if u like the environment...

a bunch of japanese kids that like to pose infront of cam..

Traditional Japanese Dance

Drum Performance

kimono.... small girl - girls - original and non original

guy's version of kimono... small boy - boy - guy version..

- anyway i found this ice cream!!! i called it plastic ice cream!!! it's hard to look for these ice creams nowadays.... i'm sure u ate it before right? if no.. either u are rich kids or u got no childhood memories.. ahhaahaha... i ate 2 grapes flavour... 1 lemon and my mum ate one apple...

yummy~ the weather is hot.. u need to eat this...

eventhough it melt but it's still in the plastic so it won't dirty ur hand... but the only thing is it's not environmental friendly because it use plastic..
Unagi rice.. for me.. it's quite easy to get into the crowd to buy the rice... (height advantage and experiences of going to concerts) but it's hard to come out after u bought.. i even lost the chopstick when i came out..maybe because i'm hungry so i think this is really nice!
this is something nice but i don't know what's that.. i just grab whatever i saw in the stall..this and unagi rice left only one so i just took it... it's nice for me but not for my mum...

summary of last two weeks PT2

2009-07-21T02:07:00.011+08:00

- i'm really really into the korean music nowadays.. seriously.. their idols can sing! live! now when i listen to SOME of the idols in taiwan and hong kong.. it's really sad.. and they have to lipsync when they sing.. although i still like them in variety shows but they have to work harder.. and being a korean artist must go training for at least 3 years.. Korean artists dance way harder but they don't lipsync.. u can hear the difference... i even got girl crush on the girl group.. mostly i like the groups.. don't know bout solo artists.. and they are funny in variety shows...

i recommend Super Junior... the biggest group in the world.. hahha

2PM... really good in dancing!

2NE1.. this group is really different from other girls group..

Wonder Girls... their songs are catchy.. and have different versions..

and Big Bang.. they composed their own songs.. hip hop style.. cool~~

- they are mostly around my age.. majority not good looking but really talented... they are so young and talented.. what am i doing??? =="

- my car air cond broke down AGAIN!!!!!! i can bare with traffic jam.. i got no prob staying in a car for more than 1 hour.. but once the air cond is gone!! even 10 mins can raise my anger.. i'll start honking ppl that drive slowly..

- i found a shop that i like in Sunway Pyramid.. it has really cool tee.. cause i always wear tee.. so i like that shop for being special...i bought 1 long tee for RM31.40, 5 urban tee for RM100...

- i joined a dance crew named Inversion Crew.. they are all students.it's a small crew...not professional dancers.. i mean not full time pro dancers.. all part time.. i get to dance.. that's all i want... they do accept performances.. all i want is dance..

- i'm going to register as an exchange student to Korea.. wish me luck.. it's this student run organization called AIESEC.. they helped students to go over the world to experience the life in different countries while doing charity projects.. so i really like to take this opportunity to go to one of my fav country and do charity project at the same time..

- as long as u are a student.. u can apply for it.. u can still apply after u graduate.. if u are interested can leave msg then i'll help u to ask... wish me luck!!

Summary of last two weeks PT1

2009-07-20T01:08:00.020+08:00

*ahem* finally i'm going to update my blog.. although i know i got limited readers... but i won't abandon my blog for TOO long...

last two weeks...

- almost every weekends i work as an entertainer in Genting Highlands and Putrajaya... GH weather is the best.. although it's abit too cold when we're working but i prefer dying in cold than suffer under hot weather.. Genting still is my favorite...

the place where i stand is where they have this booth for ppl to take pics with snakes and iguanas..

so i work with 'them' every week.. but they got sick bcoz of genting's weather...

- i was sick last week.. flu.. sorethroat and cough.. thank God no fever so not H1N1.. i couldnt quarantine myself coz i have to work.. and thank God i don't have h1n1 or else lots of people going to get it from me..

- i spend few days with my cousin sister.. because parents went to Sarawak to visit my brother with other aunties.. so she came over to stayed with me... both of us have work but we did had fun and enjoyed ourself.. slept in the living room for few days.. why we don't like sleeping in the room? i don't know..

- i got some result for my first sem... all Pass 1.. at least i pass.. and it's not P2 it's P1.. hahha both subjects i really tot i would fail... the other one i'm not that worried... unless the lecturer lied to me by telling me my work is good... thank God!!

- i spent alot!! i don't know why now i'm so into buying new things.. i'm going to throw all my previous shirts and buy new one.. i think last time i seldom buy any shirts so actually now the shirts are old.. and i'm into korean music now.. get influence by the fashion as well.. hahha... their shirts are really nice! jst a normal tee but it look so cool... the design.. why can't we have more unique and special Tee here...

- oh ya.. although i spent alot.. but mostly.. online shopping.. they always got their items fro other countries so it look more unique.. lots of shirts are nice on the blogs...

H1N1

2009-07-16T18:34:00.002+08:00

watch the video and learn from the lyrics.. hahha love it..

credit to whomever that sing and wrote the lyrics...

this is the original version.. Wonder Girls - Nobody

credit to Wondergirls @ youtube

Michael Jackson

2009-07-08T04:24:00.001+08:00

i watched MJ memorial yesterday.. i managed to hold my tears all the way... until they started to sing heal the world.. my tears drop.. but still trying to hold my tears.. once the brothers and the daughter started to talk about MJ... tears drop like no body's business... seriously it's really heartbreaking!!! all the memories is playing in my mind like a movie clips...

- always dance with my brother using his songs..

- always watches his concerts with my parents because my dad will buy his concert dvd

- always sing heal the world and we are the world

there are more memories.. i don't understand why all the rumors are cleared once he's dead... why the so called victim only tells the truth that he blame MJ for the money after he died? why all the praises only come after he died? what's the points praising him now? why they only show the interview that he deny plastic surgery now after he died? when he's alive, everyone said he's weird... alien.. molested kids and more... why only appreciate him and his talents after he died??????

when i was crying.. i really hope all these nonsense are jokes. .how i wish that he will jump up from the coffin and said 'got cha' because he always gives surprise... how i wish when they are singing heal the world.. u will appear!! but i believe.. God love u more than we do.. so He brings you home so that you are not alone anymore.. you will be happier there... now u are with our heavenly Father and blessing your family and people that loves you... i really hope you could REST IN PEACE!!

Michael.. thank you for your wonderful songs that touches millions hearts.. thank you for your special and unique dance that almost all dancers want to learn.. thank you for the lyrics that heal peoples heart... thank you for your kind heart that tries to help everyone.. thank you for spreading the loves everywhere.. thank you for being such a good icon, father, son...May you rest in peace!

Michael Jackson

2009-06-26T13:03:00.004+08:00

as many people know, Michael Jackson died this morning... i was shocked when i woke up..i watch the news and i saw this message from Justin Timberlake saying he's sad that the legend had passed... i was wondering what on earth he's talking about? now i understand.. and i feel really really sad.. it's really repressing... seriously i don't really care on how much plastic surgery he took.. how many kids he tried to molest (which i don't think it's true).. all i care was his talent and skills that no one can defeat up to today.. last time when i was young, i used to watch his concert with my mum.. i remember those fans that always cries when they see him.. and i only remember him saying i love you...

few months ago.. i saw the news saying Michael might come to Malaysia for a comeback concert.. i told my mum no matter how expensive is the ticket... i'm going to work and save money to go.. now the dream is gone.. he's gone... he's really a legend.. no one can sing his songs better than him..when we talk about moonwalk it's forever Michael jackson that comes first... i'll really miss him.. hope he rest in peace... i couldn't express much now due to my depression.. i don't know why but i'm really really sad now.. hope he'll be happier when he goes back to our Heavenly Father... may God bless his sons and his family.. and all his fans that love him..

The making of it's you

2009-05-25T21:50:00.002+08:00

i showed my lecturer the video and asked him how they shoot this video... finally i know there's a type of camera called 'steady cam'... the director will be holding it and no matter how the director's hand shake.. the camera is still steady... and it's really true that they have to take all in one shot... so this type of video... my lecturer said it's not about the director's skill but it's about the actors... i hope one day i can shoot a video like this... hope i can find good actors! eheh..

enjoy watching the making!

Attention to Petrina Jo Fernandez

2009-05-19T16:52:00.002+08:00

Dear Pet,

i apologized for calling him that name because i don't remember his real name.

However, i'll only stop calling him this name until i get a better name...

he took naked picture with a horse... he's not a porn star..

because he's weirder than a normal porn star..

and only weird people like u like him! hahhaha

p/s: it's Jay Chow, not Gay Chou! pls don't put this talented guy together with the porn star..

regards,

christy

this post is strictly for Petrina Jo Fernandez only. not other harry's fans

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA

it's you

2009-05-17T16:39:00.005+08:00

because i'm lazy to update my blog.. and day 3 in sabah is a long day.. so i need time to arrange the photos.. anyway i want to share this music video.. i love how it's been shoot.. the continuity.. it seem like no editing at all... and the camera follows each member everywhere so smoothly...

i'm still figuring out how it's been shoot coz it can't be shoot all in one take.. but i still cannot find any part where it's edited.. charlie and bee! if u all know how this is done pls tell me! i'm really curious...

p/s:

don't comment on their look (eg: they look like girls) or

their singing (eg: they sucks) or

what they are wearing (i also dislike some of their cloths...) or

the song sucks (i personally love the song after listening to it a few times...)

anyway comments are welcome... pls share ur thoughts with me after u watch the mv!

ENJOY!!

credit to wondersmurf@youtube

2nd Day

2009-04-09T17:30:00.030+08:00

we decided to go to one island only.. we couldn't do much activities because we have to save our energy for the highest mountain in malaysia on the next day... (click on the image for larger view)

walking to the jetty from our apartment...

from a night market... it turned to an empty space in the morning/afternoon...

while i was walking... suddenly i feel very hard to walk... and it's sticky.. yes it's chewing gum... BUT!!

i have no idea how it get onto my slipper... i mean like i was walking normally and the chewing is under my foot....i screamed and my family just busy laughing... my bro took this pic... how can a chewing gum get on my slipper!!!!!!!!!!

after cleaning the chewing gum... we bought tix from the jetty and head to Manukan island... you get to choose which island u want to go from the jetty and what water sports u want to play...

we are on the speed boat... i was sitting in front...

i enjoyed sitting on a speed boat... it's fast.. it's windy... thanks to Marie's shades.. or else i couldn't open my eyes at all...

my bro..

what are they looking at?

fishes... lots of fishes... i'm going to swim with them later

we bought bread to feed the fishes... u dont need to go snorkeling to swim with the fishes coz fishes are everywhere...but the big fishes are abit shy.. they swim away when u go near... but the small fishes which is like ikan bilis will love u! even though u got no bread.. if u stay still they will come to u... just like fish spa... but it's ticklish...

i'm surrounded by fishes...

we are going for parasailing... for all the water sports.. they will send u to somewhere else away from the island bcoz they don't wantt o pollute the island... so we started in the middle of the ocean..

we will fly from the boat itself...

we are flying in the sky...

it's really fun at first... but after 5 mins... its abit boring.. nothing to do...

we are not supposed to get into the water but we went in twice.. first is because the boat got no more petrol... so we slowly fly down into the water... second is because of my darling brother... so again we dropped into the water...

this is my new fav water sport.. fly fish... it's really cool and need lots of energy... unless u want to fall into the water..

if u have two person... u can lie down between the seats... if three person then u sit like how u sit on banana boat...u hold it tightly then when the boat move..

u'll fly like this or higher... so basically it's very hard to stay on it wihout falling into the water.. but three of us just don't want to drop into the water so we used all our energy to stay on it..

but somehow if u're sitting at the side.. one of ur leg will have no place to put on.. and when u touch the water... the water will pull u down.. that's what happen to me.. but i still refuse to let go so the boat went on while half of my body are drag in the water.. u imagine la k? after 5 mins dragging.. the boat stopped.. and the instructor told us two can lie down at the side..

this pic is funny.. haha right after he tells us we can lie down.. immediately i lied on it... but vanessa was too tired so she lied down for a while at the side... the middle one couldnt do anything.. ahahha

going back to the boat... really had fun... hehe

u must leave the island before 5pm... so we head back to the jetty by speed boat.. i was tired after using much energy on flyfish..... wondering how i'm going to climb the tallest mountain in malaysia on the next day...

we decided to walk back to our apartment from the jetty... 15mins walking distance... FYI me and steph and vanessa actually wearing shirts and our swimming suit because we were rushing just now.. so we got lots of attention after leaving the jetty especially when we walked into the city.. lots of people keep looking at us but we don't bother anymore...

we stop by the night market (they open around 5.30pm) had some foods... i don't really like their ABC and cendol... taste abit weird for me.. but maybe that's their style...

we ate one sotong.. and one fish as welll.. the fish is only RM2.50!! one whole fish...

and some other kuih muih that i don't know how to pronounce..

my bro that is enjoying the fish....it's just normal grilled fish but it's only Rm2.50.. worth trying!!

while we are walking back to our apartment... we are able to see the sun set.. it's so beautifulll!!!!!!

while we are busy looking at the sunset.. there were actually a bunch of kids having fun in the ocean.... it's like their swimming pool there...

basically they are just jumping up and down from that board.. but they had so much fun...

sun set

the lovely couple... (they get closer after this trip as well... hehe)

this is what i wear and walk all the way back to apartment....

*to be continued*

p/s - the photos are not photoshopped... it's origianally that nice

first day in SABAH

2009-04-09T16:16:00.018+08:00

yeap i spent 5 days in sabah as i mentioned in earlier post... i spent wonderful moments with my family.. we got closer and closer each day and we really spent our day with our laugher.. that's the best trip in my life..

let me tell u what happen in this 5 days.. i don't have the camera so all pics from my bro's and his gf's camera.. they are not like me.. camwhore everywhere... so less pic basically...

First day 25th March 2009

we took air asia to Sabah... i tot i will sleep in the plane coz i didnt sleep well before that rushing my assignments... but i was too attracted to the clouds so i didn't sleep on plane.. and since i heard lots of people said the nasi lemak in Air Asia is nice so i tried it as well.. it's really not bad.. it's warm.. the rice is nice... the sambal would be nicer if it is spicier.. overall it's nice...

cloud cloud...

cloud....

around 5pm we finally arrived... we head straight to the apartment (Marina Apartment) which is located in Kota Kinabalu, 1borneo...the apartment is really nice... the view is good.. it's comfortable.. got 3 rooms.... there got plates, forks and spoons, woks and other stuff there.. so u can cook there if you want...

The view from our apartment...

after resting for one hour, we decided to walk around in Kota Kinabalu... KK is actually well developed... sorry for being kampung here but i tot Sabah/Sarawak not that well developed... but there got starbucks, FOs, Espirit, and quite happening at night coz they got pubs there...

our apartment is quite convenient coz behind the apartment got mamak, convenient stores... restaurant...

just 5 mins walking distance, we get to the wet market where got lots of foods!! especially seafoods... and lots of antiques where you won't get to see in KL...

they love to barbecued the seafoods there and it's quite cheap... one big tiger prawn costed Rm20.. maybe u think it's expensive but the tiger prawn is actually bigger than my palm.. one whole fish only cost RM2.50... one big Sotong cost Rm12.... the chicken wing is nice too...

my mum and my bro's gf keep saying "it's so cheap!! look at this, if it's in kl it'l be this price!! SO CHEAPPPPPPPPPPPPP"

look at the prawns and fishes...

prawn is bigger than sotong (the sotong is not small ok?)

they got chicken wings, chicken asses, etc...

chicken wingggggg~~~
sotong everywhere...

then we just walk around to look at the seafood they are selling.... got different types of fishes that we don't get to see in KL... the people there keep saying that my bro's gf from japan and i'm from hong kong... hahaha... anyway whenever they are trying to sell their fish to me i'll just pretend i don't understand...

the fishes that look like a knife...

after that, thanks to my bro's GPS and my bro's gf, we able to walked to this place that full of seafoods!!!!!! all the seafoods in aquariums and u just point ur finger here and there... it's cheap.. so basically for a family with 4 members...with RM200 (exclude lobster and some really expensive fishes) u can eat till u vomit..

we ordered 7 dishes... it costed Rm400++ coz we got 6 of us and we ordered a type of seafood that look like crab but not.. don't know what's that... anyway we really had fun eating it!! it's delicious!! *drools...*

once you walked into the rest.. seafoods are all over the place....

steph with seafoods...

if the crabs cost the same in kl.. i'll eat crabs everyday!!

look at the seafoods!! all u have to do is.. point point point!!!

this is the one that we ordered but we don't know what's that... it got lots of meat and taste like lobster... it's actually quite nice but abit expensive...

we walked back to our apartment after that but we stopped by in the convenience store to buy some biscuit.. instant noodle and drinks...

then we just chill in the apartment.. discussing what should we do on the next day....

*to be continued

assignments

2009-03-24T01:34:00.002+08:00

yeap i got lots of assignments that due on 30th march which i'm going to be in sabah.. so i have to finish it up before wednesday...

today i slept in PR class.. maybe because the drama queen wasn't there so it's a little peaceful.. and i felt sleepy.. hehee...

then went for reporting for print... after taking this sub and PR.. i'm definitely confirm tat i won't work as PR or journalism and that make me have more love in multimedia...

accepted another job (free job) from TCHT.. it's an event "Taylor's Got Talent".... i'm going to be the videographer and also maybe video editor.... i accepted it bcoz i want to go to this event actually... hehehehe... anyone interested to join??

i went to sungai wang last sat.. after 4 yrs... i refused to go to that place actually but surprisingly it's quite empty when i went there.. maybe all colorful people go to times square or pyramid.. coz pyramid got look more 'colorful' compare to sungai wang... and i spent RM150 there.. bought something i like...

spent 4 hours in library with PET!!! love u so much girl! without u i couldn't finihs my stupid RFP assignment... although i have to say "moo" to ur friend then only u promise to help me but anyway.. u did help me!! muakz!! nice talking to u... gossip.... and giving each other our plaster.. hehehe... love ya!

now going to continue my assignment... or else i can't finish in time.. pls pray for me coz i'm going to climb mount kinabalu... i don't have the faith to climb to the top but.. i'll try...

good luck and God bless everyone!!

Earth Hour

2009-03-21T00:04:00.002+08:00

support Earth Hour!! it's not for others.. it's for our future and our children's future...

just for one hour.... you can light the candle to make it romantic... hahaha

www.earthhour.org/malaysia

SUPPORT!!!!

love those that are still around!!

2009-03-12T23:56:00.004+08:00

i was abit emo today.. i won't tell the reason why.. but i really think alot today..everyone please appreciate those that you love!! please love them!!!

even for me.. it's hard to believe and it's so sudden... i still remember the moment when marie told me this.. i don't know how to react... bcoz its hard to believe... it's definitely hard for her...after reading her blog... i really feel sad for her and i'm so sorry!!!

her post inspired me alot... taught me to appreciate those that are still around... although i still couldnt open my mouth and say 'i LOVE U' to my mum but i really really do love her.. although i always fight with my brother and always get scolded.. i still love him... although i always said tat i don't want to see him and always ask him to go back to Kuching when he's back in kl.. i really miss him alot!! although i don't get to see my dad often and the only thing i'll mention when i see him is about concert... but i really really love him alot!!

i'm crying now like no body's business and my mum is looking at me weirdly.. but i really hope she'll know i really love them..tried my best to be a good daughter and sister.. although they always said i'm good in nothing but i still tried to make them proud...

to my HDZM (u know who u are) i really do love u all... although i'm the one that always tease each of u but i really love all of u!!! each of u are important for me!!

to all my friends that i had lost contact and seldom keep in touch... i still love each of you and i pray that all of you will have bless day....

to all my collegemates... i know i'm not a good member in group assignments and not a good classmates... and i know some of you don't like me... but i still love u all and i'm really glad that i met all of you.. u guys are awesome... if i get to choose again.. i'll still choose u all to be my classmates (if u all don't mind)

to the one that is having a hard time!! i'm really sorry!! u know i'm bad in writing and i seriously don't know how to comfort you.. i tried to think how to make u better but i'm really suck in putting words together and form a good sentence!! i hope u know that i'm always there for u!! i'll pray hard for you and of course besides your family and friends!! our heavenly father will always be there to give you His greatest love!!! He will bless you and protect you and your family.. He will be watching over you with your Loved one!!! i'll pray that Lord can give you and your family strength to go through this... all of us love you!!! HUGS**** LOVE YOU!!!

i'm back!!

2009-03-06T13:16:00.002+08:00

because of jiayi.. i update my blog.. hahahaha thank God u're getting well..

what happen to me lately? i started my college life again in Taylor's College... taking Degree Communication and Media Management... first day... i stepped into the wrong class which full of juniors.. and they are all really really noisy!!!!! it's not normal... i mean it's SUPER NOISY!!!

then i called Jean and went into the correct class but still full of Juniors... i only know 5 persons there..

we have 4 subjects in semester 1... i'd been to 2 classes which are Public Relation 1 and also Issues to Publication and Design... for PR... i'll just pray that i could pass...(cannot fail... it's damn expensive) coz i don't like the subject... not because of the lecturer... but for me... i don't like to think about some issues from PR perspective... i don't know how to think from that point... i keep on Cursing Taylor's for not having Multimedia here in local... i mean it's a must to go to Australia if you take multimedia... and other colleges don't have the course that i actually want... so i'm forced to take this CMM... anyway... i will try my best to pass this subject...for Issues of Publication and Design... although it seem difficult but i think i could do better than pass... i mean at least i understand a bit from the lecture...

for the other two subjects.. one - Reporting for print is fully tutorial so got no class this week.. the other one which is Intro to Digital Media... heheh i thought the class at 1pm... but the class is actually 10am.. that's why i'm doing nothing now in college...anyway.. jean said the lecturer didn't come.. this is the only subject where i put my hope in... based on the name itself... and the lecturer... i think this is related to film and broadcasting!! i'll work hard to get A here..oh it's called distinction.. no more ABCD...

i bought a Macbook.. it's RM3699... my Dad and my Bro substitute Rm2k so i paid RM1699... i'm in love with my laptop coz it's really convenient... really worth it.. but now have to look for some jobs to cover up... Thank God i worked on December

i spent a great month with my sisters... although 4 of us just cna't meet together but i had fun spending time with u all... it's priceless... love all of you!

oh ya.. when i was spending my time in Ilab... there were 3 juniors behind me getting excited about Mac.. they scream when they on the comp bcoz it will have sound once u on it... they keep playing with the Volume thingy and annoyed me... they keep saying ' it's so cool... eh look at this keyboard.. look at the screen.. double the normal comp screen.. the sound is so coolllllll~~~~'

i get excited also when i first touch mac but not this excited...

i wanted to turn back to them and say "that's not a hot guy.. you don't have to scream when u touch it" ==

happy valentine Day!

2009-02-13T16:07:00.007+08:00

Valentine is the day where u celebrate it with your love one.. that's my definition of Valentine... and every year i get to celebrate with my love ones... not bf coz i don't have one but i'm still happy.... mostly i celebrated with my mum and my zhi mui.. this year is the same.. hahha i'm going to celebrate with those that i really love and those tat i know for half of my life... i found this song is really sweet and lovely.... is not an ordinary love song.. the meaning is the guy want to propose to the girl...

is from this group called super junior....i hope to dedicate this song to all of you... and wish all of u get to celebrate this special day with ur love one... even if u're single like me.. we still can have a special valentine with our family and friends... it'll be very special!

enjoy the song and the lyric (translation)

Love, oh baby my girl You are my everything

My dazzlingly beautiful bride

You are a gift from god

We'll be very happy, your black eyes well up with tears

Even if your black memerizing hair turns white

My love, you my love, I swear I love you

Saying I love you is what I want to do the most everyday in my life

Would you marry me? I want to love you, treasure you, and live with you

I want you to lean on my shoulders each time you sleep

Would you marry me?With this heart of mine, will you accept me?

To accompany you for the whole lifetime, I do

To love you, I do

Regardless of snow and rain, i will be there to protect you, I do

Let me be the one to protect you, my love

you wearing the white bridal gown

Me wearing the suit

Both of us walking in sync towards the stars and moon, I swear

No lies, no suspicion

My dearest princess, stay with me

Even if we are becoming older, we will smile and live on

Would you marry me? Are you willing to live the rest of your life with me?

no matter how weary and tired we are, I do

I will always be by your side, I do

The days when we will spend together, I do

Everyday will my heart be thankful, my love

I have prepared this ring for you since a long time ago,

Please take this shiny ring in my hand

Just like the mood today, remember the promise that we're making now

Would you marry me?

The only thing that I can give you is love

Although it's insignificant

Even though there are areas which I lack

I will protect the love between us, me and you

Let's make a promise,

no matter what happens we will still be in love

And even so...

Background: I do, I will always be by your side, I do

The days when we will spend together, I do,

Everyday will my heart be thankful, my love

Will you marry me? I do

gong xi gong xi!!

2009-01-24T04:33:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!
GONG XI FA CAI!~

HOPE EVERYONE ENJOY THEIR CNY AND GET MANY MANY ANG PAO!!!

HAVE A SAFE JOURNEY FOR THOSE THAT ARE GOING BACK TO THEIR HOMETOWN!!

HAVE A BLESSED OPEN HOUSE OR GATHERING WITH FAMILY AND RELATIVES!!

I'LL BE GOING BACK TO GENTING AND IPOH AND MAYBE KUANTAN!! HOORAY!!!

TAKE CAREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

i'm free!!!!

2009-01-06T17:09:00.006+08:00

finish work already!! don't have to wake up inthe morning... dont have to work under 12C everyday... don't have to work with complicating people everyday!!! but i still love my job coz i get to meet different people from different countries... different kids thqat are really cute until i want to hug them.. learned different languages....

CHRISTMAS!

- had a different christmas this year.. celebrated in the snowworld!! work.. play with kids... sing christmas songs.. it'll be really fun if they allow me to WEAR JACKET!!!! -6C ok??? it's really cold and becoz i'm a clown so of coz everyone willl throw snow to us... we nearly fainted in there...
(sorry to bee and ying.. at first tot want to celebrate with u all but i leave both of u outside!! sorry.. sorry sorry!!!)

- after 3 hours count down in snow world.. on christmas day it self we still have to be in snowworld for 2 hours.. cold cold cold!! but it's kind of fun!! just that after that i fall sick.. really sick.. flu... cough.. sore throat.. fever... nose bleeding

- exchanged presents with my HDZM.. i'm really happy that at least 6 of us are there.. again i get ying's presents... T_T hahaha okla.. like ur present la... my mum likes it more...

NEW YEAR!!!

- no need to work till night.. countdown with ying..and her friends.. bee.. vernon and his friends.. ah boy.. sabrina and her friends... kah chun and somme other friends... watched fire works!! so nice!! i know lots of people get sick watching fire works.. but for me! i wont get sick of it!! so nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- then went into GISR coz got a countdown party there.. but the stupid DJ put all the old songs... la bam ba.. then i love rock and roll.. some other old songs that u couldn't dance!!! went there for 15 mins... then came out... then went in for 10 mins and went home..

RANDOM

- i watch bevely hills and bedtime stories with ying and bee and ah boy... nice nice nice!!! before this i don't like chi hua hua but after watching this but not bad la.. anyway becoz i'm sick that day so it seems like i'm alergy to chi hua hua... coz i've been sneezing for 2 hours...

- after a long time.... 4 sisters get to sleep together again!!!!

- i'm going to cut my hair...

- i'm goinng to buy a new lap top

- i'm going to buy handphone (maybe)

- i need to diet.....

Christmas

2008-12-23T23:36:00.002+08:00

/yup christmas is coming and i'm supposed to be very very happy as everyone know (if u dont know now u'll know) i love Christmas!! i can be super excited even one month before christmas.... christmas is

the day my Heavenly Father was born..
the day where i get present...
the day where everyone wear red and christmas hat...
the day where i can listen to christmas songs everyday!

this year i'm working and countdown as a clown.. i had countdown in the same place (genting) and with the same group of people for ten years.. i don't feel bored at all and i'[ll feel weird if i don't countdown here and with the same gorup of people..

of coz as time passed... evyerone will have different plans... some are busy with their internship... some are busy with their bf/gf.. some lazy to come out.. so end up this year i'll countdown with other clowns... although i'm going to celebrate my christmas with lots of people but it's so different without that group that i'm familiar with... although i won't be alone during countdown and during christmas day.... but i still feel lonely coz i don't get to countdown with the group of people that i want to see!!

in my fav day.. i hope to celebrate with those that i like and those tat i want.. i know i'm abit childish becoz i always want to meet the same group of people.. but i realy miss those moments where 8 of us always gather.. no matter how busy we are and we don't need to make appointment.. before 12am.. there's one place that we will always meet each other.. i know everyone grow up and they will have differetns plans... friends can't stick together forever.. but i really really hope everyone is up in genting... i feel emo when u all keep telling me 'we meet next time' now it's so difficult for us to meet... what about next time? half of us are flying to other country next year... 8 of us will never gather together again..

i'd been working evyerday and i don't really feel the christmas day is coming.. i don't even remember what's the date for today... everyday just wake up at 8am.. make up.. go to work... break for 2 hours then go to work.. remove make up and go home.... anyway thank God i'm meeting diferent people everyday..

okok i know i'm not supposed to be emo.. i want to wish everyone! MERRY CHRISTMAS!! although i'll be emo during christmas but i pray that u all will have lots of lots of fun during christams!!

oh ya.. result is out... i hate malaysian studies!! i really really hate malaysian studies!! i got 3 A- and 1 B!!! because of malaysian studies la... i couldn't get straight A!!

p/s - ying! thank you for accompany me almost everyay during my break! love u very much!

this two weeks..

2008-12-14T21:37:00.002+08:00

I

- working as an entertainer! heheheh so i'll be up in genting...
- can't always online because my laptop backlight and keyboard spoilt...
- went for 'Battleground' live shooting.... tiring...
- saw jiayi there and although we didn't meet for a long time but i don't feel the gap between me and her.. it's like we meet often..
- watched 'BOLT and Madagascar' super duper nice!!!!!
- i spent more time with my family and ying coz she's back
- started to miss my bro because he's going to based in Kuching
- decided to take Communication and Media Management in Taylors College
(pray for me coz i don't like tis course.. why i still take that? explain next time)
- am proud of my sister and my brother
- am going to celebrate my christmas and new year in genting as usual
- love CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
AND GONG XI FA CAI!!!

$$$

2008-11-22T22:04:00.003+08:00

i spent around Rm100++ in just one day... but i'm ok with it coz i didn't spend money at all for the whole two weeks... i hardly walk out from house..

anyway..

RM20++ for lunch in Italianese

RM20++ for dinner in Noo Gul Korean Restaurant

RM39.60 for this (20%)

Jay Chou - Scorpion

i like all the songs in it.. the critics are right.. all the songs are simple and seem like he doesn't spend much time on this album.. but somehow i like simple songs.. so i have no problem with all the songs in it.. i like all 11 songs... it's so comfortable when u listen to it... the lyric are so encouraging... but i don't understand the cover... he said this album's theme is magician or fantasy world.. the cover is more to war... anyway... the songs are nice!!!

memories

2008-11-22T02:34:00.012+08:00

my grandfather.... there are this group called Stonedmnkeys! i don't have any pics that include all the munkeys because i don't really get to hang out with them after sem 3 T_T.... they are the best ppl to hang out with... and to club with... i never been to a club without them... i feel secure with them..

the craziest indian girl that save me from the rain

my family

my perikatan

the super advertising group!!

first presentation

5 people represents 3 countries

the very pretty and fun indonesians

i love them...

my mum.. my sister the so po!...

the best designer in the class

first sketch

very sexy nicholas

in this sketch.. he's my father...

first time clubbing

second sketch

supposed to be a indian and a japanese...

first prom

surprise party for jaja

ASAP4Children

got too many pics so i put one from every events...

road show in Cambridge school

Launch

Fund RAising

just for fun

Finale..

when i show my lecturer this pic..

he said "eh ur boy friend ar? i saw u wearing this just now!"

do i look like a guy to u???

i'm so so sso tall!!!!

the ASAP Crew...

u got prob with us??

last meeting...

after finale... in replubic...

a Knock To Remember

Last lunch...hhahha touch wood...
last lunch during Diploma

got one game for u all

this was taken yesterday

this was taken two and half years ago... now..

>>> look for one difference in me between the two photo..

answer? none.. i got no diff wei... so boring...i'm going to curl my hair on 1st January... definitely will see a different in me in the convo...

final final exam!

2008-11-22T01:11:00.018+08:00

finally i'm done wth my Diploma.. too bad i'm not as excited as i expected... yes i'm happy because i'm done with my Diploma without failling a subject... it's like so empty suddenly... i don't know what to do for the next three months... monday when i wake up i don't have anything to do... i dont have to study i don't have to go to class... my life is so empty now... what should i do??? fine...

okok.. let's start wiht the happy moments

- i get to know a bunch of good.. fun... creative.. handsome/pretty... smart... friendly and crazy people

- i learned lots of skills from different subjects..

- i know what i like finally - editing

- i didn't fail a single subject!!!

- i learned to organized an event

- i learned to work better with people

- i learned to be more responsible and hardworking
- i learned to act in two sketches

- i learned to club!!

- i learned to play pool

- i realized that i'm really short after meeting all the giants from diff places

- i got lots of goodies bags from different events and different cruisers

- i realized that indons are fun to be with

- i got a really good grandfather.. a sister... two buddies...

okok... enough... i learned alot!! just that i'm starting to miss my friends and all the moments i had in college... so to avoid tears dropping.. stop listing..

i can tell everyone in the world that i had a wonderful 2 1/2 years in college!! its the best in my life... i learned alot in this two years and i grown up alot... i have been more resposible... patient... hard working... maybe u all think i'm not but actually i improved alot compared to last time...

sad moment

- i had never been this stress in my life.. always cry for no reason.. bt i know i just need to cry

- i'm stayed awake for 30++ hours

- i meet different people and some are really annoying.. i couldn't believe there are such person that made everyone hates them..i only met two but they are annoying enough till everyone don't like them.. i can't think of anyone that like them~!!

- there are so many politics and reality show happens all around college... lecturers.. students.. everywhere in the college

- there are people worse than me ( wei come on.... i'm super lazy person.. not responsible.. worse than me wor!!! kesian lo....)

- no more dy...

so actually happy moments more than sad moments... ehehehe

now when i recall.. i really hope that i have be a good friend or classmates.. i hope that i didn't hurt any of you.. i realy really hope that i didn't caused any politics because i don't mean it..i don't like politics too.... i really hope that u all don't have any uncomfortable feelings when u see me around... like u know don't like me... i hope i can graduate with everyone like me... not say like la but at least don't hate me.. can at least say i'm ur friend not only classmates...

final? or finally....

2008-11-13T18:01:00.002+08:00

seems like everyone is prepparing for their final... but i'm still in my holiday mood? why i used "still" because since i finish my videos.. i'm in my holiday alreayd... hahahaha

final is coming next mon... FINALLY it's here...

what am i doing? although i'm in the library... looking at everyone studying...

okla.. i want to go home dy.. Chaoz!!!

tag tag tag

2008-11-08T21:46:00.003+08:00

Instructions:Remove 1 question from below and add in a personal question, make it a total of 19 questions. Then tag 8 people in your list, list them out at the end of this post.

1. What bothers you the most?
what should i do after Diploma?

2. What is your most favourite thing to do?
sleeeppppp

3. What kind of news do you read?
entertainment.. because it entertains me...

4. Have you been committed in any crime?
i speed most of the time and i always eats in the computer lab.. wait! a crime? don't know wor

5. Is there someone in your heart right now?
no one

6. Do you believe you can survive without money?
if i live in a jungle.. yes

7. List down 5 things you want to do before you turn 21.
- i want to go to the casino to win money
- go to Zouk and dance
- don't know... coz i dontthink 21 is a big difference...

8. What do you feel like doing right now?
swimming

9. If there’s someone that you love, would you confess to him/her?
i wont confess but i will give hints...

10. List out 3 good points of the person who tagged you.
good points?? 3 somemore?? aiyo.... she is "CUTE" "LAME" "TALKATIVE"

11.What is your 5 most passionate thing at this moment?
- study hard for final
- improve my editing skills
- get closer to my GOD
- get closer to my friends and family
- diet

12. If you can be on TV, which show would you want to be in?
Harry Potter so tat i can pretend that i know magic... hahahahah

13. If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?
char kuay tuay with extra cillli

14. If you had a choice to be rich or happy, which one would you pick?
rich.... becoz no money no happy.. hahah

15. If you have a chance, which part of your character you would like to change?
my impatient

16. Will you ever kill yourself for studies?
NEVER.

17. What is the one thing you love about yourself?
my real attitude.. not wearing mask everywhere...

18. If you can bring only one thing along with you to another world, what would it be?
the whole world

19. Who & What has some1 done which u think is the most memorable one?
my brother.. for kicking...punching... scolding me everyday.. hahahaha

I tag- everyone that wants to do this...

COuz Masquerade Ball 08'

2008-11-03T16:17:00.017+08:00

Venue: SIB KL (my church)

Date: 31 October 2008

this is my first time going to a Masquerade Ball.. COuz = Colllege United Zone from my church are always happening.. hahaha every last friday of the month, we will meet up in church and have different Pastor giving speech or have different theme... this friday.. its Masquerade Ball where everyone needs to dress up la basically...

i'm very happy because Mandy get to join me.... finally! both of us hang out in the Costume shop named "Super Cool Hobby' in Sunway Pyramid.... tried all the masks there and i wanted to be a guy actually so that i don't have to wear skirt.. hahaha but then Mandy don't want to walk with me if i dress like that so both of us bought masks that match with our dress...

yes i only got one dress which is the one i wore for Gala Night.. so i wore the same dress again... hahaha.... and Mandy wore a white dress....

traffic was really bad that day and when we rush to SIBKL, my heels gets looser and looser because the front part is opening actually... it's coming out... i don't know how to explain... i hope u understand la...i have to walk slowly... then Mandy found out that her mask was broken.. the ribon came out... so we went to Secret Recipe to borrow some tape.

then we head to the venue... we saw a gorila at first.. then different people in different costume.. got angels, fallen angels, transformer, ultraman, belly dancers,

they decorated the hall to a very mysterious hall.. full of candles... very nice! then after introduction, guys and girls are asked to stand on the left and right.. because we are going to dance... dance in a traditional way... because guys are lesser than girls (as usual) so some girls dance with girls... we stand in a circle.. guys stand outside.. girls inside.. which means 2 circles... then Bernard and Bernice show us how to dance... but after one set... basically u'll change partner.. i only get to dance with one guy.. others are girls... T_T haahhaha but tht guy is so shy... when he hold my hand.. he only hold one finger... i almost fell down because of my heels...

after that PS Lindy gave speeches... by asking us..

are we wearing a mask although it's not a masquerade ball...

who are u behind the mask?

who are u looking at the mirror?

Have you tried so hard to protect your vulnerability?

who are u??

then they chose the Masquerade Queen/King and best homemade mask..

it end around 10.30pm...we just camwhore.. looking at my Pastor turns devil.. haahaha

can u spot me?

then we went supper...i'm really happy today and enjoy every moment there.. especially Mandy get to join me.. Ying!! u join me next month k? it's talent time u know? i'm going to perform...

8 Comm

2008-11-02T00:22:00.011+08:00

finally the advertising team is done with their final assignment... it's not only the final assignment of this semester.. but it's our final assignment and presentation of Diploma... but PR students... ahaha good luck in your Sukitha!

it's the longest presentation we ever had... we presented for 1 hour!!!! 1 freakin hour wei!!! and it's 100% based on coursework... stress..

our company called 8 Comm...because.. our company was formed on 8th August 2008... we got 8 Directors *ahem* in our group...so 8 lo... then in the end.. our presentation slides also got 88 slides... see la see la.. ong wei!

this project took most of our time.... bcoz other LAN subs just don't seems this important... lots of things happened during our meetings.. oh ya we are doing promotional plan for Maggi hot Cup!!! bcoz of this project.. vaanan had to eat 5 mee cups during our shooting.. anyway we help to eat alot also... ahahha bcause of this project... i learned how to shoot a TVC (actually not learn la..) i become a Director for TVC for the first time... i used those skills that i observe from REd Com... because of this project... i know i really love editing more. i rather faced Final Cut Pro than counting the budget or doing research... hahaah but because of this project... i'll get mad suddenly and cry because i couldn't find any suitable songs... i really regret that whenever i hear a song.. i don't bother who is the singer and the title...i couldn't find all those songs when i need them!! always stress and cry just bcause i couldn't find a song... shit! nect time i hope the copany will give me songs when they want me to edit something...

okok enough crapping... anyway we did it!! our beloved lecturer Ms Rosaline said we did a good job and she likes my videos!!! she agreed that i can work in the braodcasting industry!!! woooooooohoooooo yeah eyah yea...

AHEM Ladies and Gentlement.. put your hands together for the 8 Comm Directors....

i super love this pic!! it's like a drama and everyone stand in the right place... really love this pic alot! we are like super model or celebrities... can u see that??!! i wore skirt... first time man in Diploma...

Focus Group Interview.. don't know why i was laughing

8 comm Directors with the CEO! hahah our lecturer.. i love u miss!! Thank you for everything!

from behind left - Jean, the chief Director, lidya R&D director, Audrey assistant of media planner, Yoke Chin Media Planner, Joey situation analysist, Vaanan the office boy& Driver,

from front left - Me, the ka ka cau cau one, CEO, Citra Media Planner

i ws busy scolding Vaanan because he can't even keep quiet and take pic with me for 1 min! stop fighting for 1 min very hard for both of us! he's our office boy.... the one who need to photostate.. printing.. driver also... and my talent

but he's LUCKY! we want to make someone jealous.. hhhahahah

he is always annoying.. but he's quite tall and i'm quite not that tall.. haih~~i feel threaten when i stand beside him... however... height doesn't mean anthing... he cant beat me if the malay is not here..

me and the analysist in our company.. joey!

the indian, the 2 indonesians and the malaysian..

finally i'm taller than everyone.. ahhahha and i get to put my hand on the indian's head which he always do that do me..

i love u all!

2008-10-28T23:00:00.002+08:00

6 things I'm passionate about:
-God (i'm not so passionate yet but i want to)
-Family
-Friends
-music
-TV/internet
-dancing

6 books I read recently:
- note book

6 songs I can listen to over and over again:
- most of Jay Chow's songs
- Golf-Mike: Fight for You
- Here in My Home
- Bardot - A.S.A.P
- Gary Chow - My way
- any songs la

6 things I learnt this past year:
- how to plan event
- how to be patient
- how to finish an assignemnt in 3 hours?
- how to shoot and edit videos
- how to drive on road after having licence for 1 year
- how to fight with annoying people

6 valuable things I own:
- my laptop
- my bed
- my friends
- my family
- my handphone
- my brain

6 bloggers I tag:
anyone tat feels bored like me and hope to kill some time...

a Knock To Remember

2008-10-22T21:05:00.007+08:00

- i went to a knock to remember by the Knockers on sunday..

- i wore dress and heels..

- i ran around and i always have to go to a corner to take off my heels for a min..

- i like the food espeially the potato!!!

- i like Mr.Kumar's dance!!!

my fav malay and fav indian boy!!! although both of you always teach.. teasing me is like a must for both of u everyday.. but i still love both of you and without both of you... my college life will be quite boring.. hahaha PERIKATAN!!! and i can never be sexier than that malay... (they won't be my bf because both of them are linked :P) hahahahahaha

this pic seems wrong... i'm trying to push their face together... but the phtographer snapped too fast... now seems like i'm molesting vaanan face... cheh!!

honestly before this i don't know what is LOO lo... now i still don't know but it's toilet behind the door.. LOO = toilet?? just call toilet la! or restroom.. hahaha

a knock to remember?

upside down

2008-10-15T15:53:00.002+08:00

these few days my mood just like roller coaster... go up to the top and then suddenly goes straight to the bottom... then go up again then go down again... i don't know whether my heart can take it or not but it've been like this for few days... at least i know i got strong heart..

then finally i can feel the stress in this semester... i know it's abit late because this semester only left one and half months... i got feel abit stress before this... but somehow God bless me alot.. for Malaysian studies..i consider that would be my weakest subject but somehow i got highest score in that subject among all 4 subjects... then i finish my psychology assignment in two days but i don't even know what i'm doing.. when i read it.. i'm blur and i don't know what i'm talking about... i thought i'll get maybe 8-10%/20%... because i only crap in the essay... i read it for many times but somehow i think i don't have points there and i only refer to his notes then crap for the whole essay... what i get? i got 15%/20%... which is one of the highest in my adv class.. the highest among all is 16%... the comment that i get was - clear and all points answers the question... GOOD EFFORT! i was surprise.. and that reduce all my stress la...

this is the happy sides..what happen next? lazy to talk about it because i'm tired... i cried in front of my grandpa.. told him everything... cried when i walked to the car... cried when i was driving... now when i reached home... the problem is solved... i'm going to faint soon.. praying really helps because no one can help me in that situation besides God... no one can ever solved my problem beside God... i don't know what to do besides praying... and.. miracles happen!!!!!

that's all.. i'm busy now...

randommmmm2

2008-10-11T22:09:00.004+08:00

- my computer officially died so i bought a new laptop from my cousin sister.... hooo~ i got a laptop... anywa \y now i'm still savng money to buy apple laptop... hehehe

- since the last time i wore dress and heels was in the prom night.. and next week i'm going to a gala dinner titled ' a knock to remember' want to know more bout this event.. knock them

A 'Knock' To Remember is a cocktail theme party. Tickets are priced at RM 60 .
All proceeds from ticket sales goes to the charity organization that we are working with, Shelter Home for Children. So come land us a helping hand in providing a better future for under privileged children.

We will be having loads of fun and entertainment lined up for the nights' agenda. We have performances by local aspiring artist such as Ray Cheong , Nick Davis and Russel Curtis just to name a few. There will also be a special presentation by the Mustang Crew. There will also be several lucky draws going on throughout the event, guest will stand a chance to win some exciting and one of a kinda prizers.So what are you waiting for make your way down to
the Apartment @ downtown KLCC

- i got two assignments due next week but i don't know how to start..

- i still dunno what to do after i graduate

- i'm addicted to swimming now... hopefully i can slim down after a month...

- i'm have to finihs edit 5 videos by next week... 4 commecials for my project and one knock video for the knockers....

- i want to continue my dance... although i'm suck in it but i really love dancing and i really dream to have my own crew and i get to practice dancing everyday... i know i got no potential in this but i want to do windmilll... and other stunts.. haih~ only happen in my dream coz i'm only use to the only instructor that taught me last time.... 'm not used to other ppl teaching me... he went penang already...

specially for ying

2008-10-06T01:32:00.001+08:00

i'm going to pre-book his album bcoz i realized that pre booking got more free stuff.. ahahah if u want.. tell me

birthday calculator

2008-10-03T17:25:00.001+08:00

15 April 1988
Your date of conception was on or about 24 July 1987 which was a Friday.

You were born on a Friday
under the astrological sign Aries.
Your Life path number is 9.

Your fortune cookie reads:
A thrilling time is in your immediate future.

Life Path Compatibility:
You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 3, 6 & 9.
You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 1 & 5.
You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 7 & 11.
You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 4, 8 & 22.

The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447266.5.
The golden number for 1988 is 13.
The epact number for 1988 is 11.
The year 1988 was a leap year.

Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/17/1988 and ending 2/5/1989.
You were born in the Chinese year of the Dragon.

Your Native American Zodiac sign is Hawk; your plant is Dandelion.

You were born in the Egyptian month of Paony, the second month of the season of Shomu (Harvest).

Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 28 Nisan 5748.
Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 29 Nisan 5748.

The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.14.17.2 which is
12 baktun 18 katun 14 tun 17 uinal 2 kin

The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Friday, 27 Sha'ban 1408 (1408-8-27).

The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 3 April 1988.
The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 10 April 1988.
The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 17 February 1988.
The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 22 May 1988.
The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 29 May 1988.
The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Monday, 12 September 1988.
The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Saturday, 2 April 1988.
The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 16 February 1988.

As of 10/3/2008 5:24:18 AM EDT
You are 20 years old.
You are 246 months old.
You are 1,068 weeks old.
You are 7,476 days old.
You are 179,429 hours old.
You are 10,765,764 minutes old.
You are 645,945,858 seconds old.

Celebrities who share your birthday:
Emma Watson (1990) Emma Thompson (1959) Claudia Cardinale (1939)
Roy Clark (1933) Elizabeth Montgomery (1933) Leon Schotter (1922)
Hans Conried (1917) Bessie Smith (1894) Henry James (1843)
Leonardo da Vinci (1452)

Top songs of 1988
Roll with It by Steve Winwood Every Rose Has Its Thorn by Poison
One More Try by George Michael Look Away by Chicago
Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns N' Roses
Anything for You by Gloria Estefan & Miami Sound Machine Get Outta My Dreams, Get into My Car by Billy Ocean
Man In the Mirror by Michael Jackson The Flame by Cheap Trick

Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.92602739726027 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)

Your lucky day is Tuesday.
Your lucky number is 9.
Your ruling planet(s) is Mars & Pluto.
Your lucky dates are 9th, 18th, 27th.
Your opposition sign is Libra.
Your opposition number(s) is 6.

Today is not one of your lucky days!

There are 194 days till your next birthday
on which your cake will have 21 candles.

Those 21 candles produce 21 BTUs,
or 5,292 calories of heat (that's only 5.2920 food Calories!) .
You can boil 2.40 US ounces of water with that many candles.

In 1988 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.
In 1988 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.
In 1988 in the US there were 2,389,000 marriages (9.7%) and 1,183,000 divorces (4.8%)
In 1988 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)
In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.
In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.

In 1988 the population of Australia was approximately 16,687,082.
In 1988 there were approximately 246,193 births in Australia.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 116,816 marriages and 41,007 divorces.
In 1988 in Australia there were approximately 119,866 deaths.

Your birthstone is Diamond

The Mystical properties of Diamond

Diamonds are said to increase personal clarity to help one see things clearly as well as be straight-forward and honest. Supposedly, the higher quality the diamond, the better it is supports these qualities.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)

Opal, Quartz, White Sapphire

Your birth tree is

Maple, Independence of Mind
No ordinary person, full imagination and originality, shy and reserved, ambitious, proud, self-respect, hungers for new experiences, sometimes nervous, many complexes, good memory, learns easily, complicated love life, wants to impress.

http://www.paulsadowski.com/BirthData.asp

randommmmmmm2

2008-09-26T10:47:00.002+08:00

= i finally finish my psychology assignment which i tot it's easy but it's NOT~!!

= i become the videographer ( is it wat u call them? recorder? ) the one record the whole event la.. for my seniors project.. respect themm alot bcoz the event was successful and THEY ONLY GOT 7 PERSON!! ONE PERSON ONE DEPARTMENT!! and they managed to get lots of sponsors! good job!! it's a good experience...

= i'm going to be a videographer for the knock project as well.. gala night this time.. suddenly.. from video editor.. ppl asked me to be their videographer! hahahahah i love all of u for giving me this opportunities.. although it seems like i'm helping u all but it's not.. u all are the one that helps me to gain experience.. heheheheh thanks alot!! anyone else?? come come look for me.. hahahhaa

= next week is raya.. nothing to do.. but i got 5 assignments actually...==

= first my monitor don't want to see me... one day later.. my speaker don't want to see me..one day later.. i cant on my CPU!!!!!! why why why why why DIM GAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

= finally get to go to euphoria!!! it's so cool.. so nice.. and what attracts me alot is that it's a non-smoking club!!! CLAPS YOUR HANDS EVERYONE!! HAHHAH sorry for my smokers friends.. ahhhahahha but i love the air there... and the environment.. and the lighting.. and the songs.. and the place.. wooohooooo

= suddenly i'm addicted to swimming.. now looking for public pool that's near my place.. hehe

= oh ya.. this week i got lots of goodies bags.. i won HP goodies bag from the FlyFM Troopers, goodies bag from the Ugly for Beauty Campaign.. and because i'm the videographer.. i got one extra goodies bags..

pics will appear later...

randommmmmmmmm

2008-09-23T14:21:00.004+08:00

= i finish 2 ads in one day and i got fever after that... hahhahha..

= i had fun in shooting with all members...

= i love editing.. haha i enjoyed editing

= i finished edited two ads but i saved in college's labs and they deleted everything.. ==

= i fell down when i took off my pants

= i love 炮兵 mill wheel Ice Cafe.. it really really melt in your mouth.. normally ice kacang or cendol.. u have to chew abit.. this one ar.. once u put in your mouth.. melt immediately!!~ and you'll feel cold after that.. it's really nice!!!! very nice!!! good for people in Malaysia.. very nice!!!

= it's miracle that i get 15/20 for Malaysian Studies... ]

= i'm going to sabah next year....

i'm so blessed

2008-09-11T01:51:00.002+08:00

besides mid term... i'm quite blessed this few days actually.. because relationship between me and my family are closer compare to last time.. after my bro have this girlfriend... she is a 'family girl'.. so they always stays at home now.. then my father always come back from Genting... we always get to go out together... for example... yesterday all of us went out and play basketball together.. haha i cycle there.. my mum jog there.. we brought basketball and then my bro.. his gf.. and my dad joined in... so cool... my father quite good in shooting ... compare to me.. hahaha...

then today.. finally i get to watch Money No Enough 2!!!! it's not as funny as i expected but it's very meaningful because they taught us alot about the relationship between family... how we will neglect our parents when we have our own lives in the future.. how an old lady will feel if the son too busy to take care of her... i cna't believe what they did to the mother... how can they let her sleep beside the toilet... eat alone... if got no extra room then u sleep in the living room la... how the daughter in law treat the mother.. i really want to slap her... from the part where the mum got some sickness and the sons seems like doesn't care.. i started to cry and cry and cry till the part where the son send the mum to the caring house.. how the mum cried and say she want to go home...that really break my heart.... i tried to control my tears but it impossible... that's why i only watch comedy in cinema otherwise i'll cry... i tot this is a comedy... in the end how the mum died bcoz of the granddaughter... wah.. cannot tahan.. cry cry cry!! but i can confirm that i won't do that and my bro won't do that also.. so my parents got no worries... ahha...

anyway today is a meaningful day for me because this is my first time watching movie with... my father my mother my brother and his girlfriend... he booked 6 tix which we all don't know why.. maybe he thought i'll secretly bring my bf.. too bad i don't have one.. hahaaha anyway it's a good experience where u get to watch movie with ur whole family!! i'm so blessed!!! THANK GOD!

project knock

2008-09-08T16:27:00.002+08:00

remember ASAP4children? it's a project organized by me and my classsmates... now there's another meaningful project going on in Taylor's.. organized by my grandpa (hehe) and juniors... support them... visit their blog for more info.. support their events in the future.. help those that need help... spread this blog around to help them...

Project KNOCK: Empowering Urban Youth is a project organized by the KNOCKers, aimed to giving aid to one of the shelter homes founded by Shelter Home. Our project advocates awareness and understanding of the state these youths are in.

We aim to heighten awareness amongst other college students and young working adults regarding these youths and at the same time, raise enough funds to purchase better books and other equipments needed for these youths.

mid term?

2008-09-08T12:34:00.002+08:00

i just realized last week that i'm having mid term tmr.... and i keep reminding myself that i'm having exam... unfortunately...i'm still having fun.. going out with my bro's gf... watching tv.. now i'm in college supposed to study but i'm worried about the computers... i need a comp to edit videos but the stupid ilab full of classes!! no other lab meh? shit!

how i wish i get to win an apple comp so i don't have to be so worried everytime when i need to edit... and don't have to explain to my bro why i need apple... i know la normal laptop got their own software for editing but i don't know how to use.. i'll save money and work more so that i can buy mac book without using my parents or my bro's money! everytime when they talk to me it seems like i just want apple comp wihtout thinking deeply or trying to waste their money.. i think every night k? then only i told my mum... i wan a mac book and i promised to work hard to get more money.. i'm not trying to waste family's money.. i know it's expensive... honestly.. i'm not buying it for the brand.. it's for the laptop itself.. it's useful especially when i edit... i'm not a person that buy something bcoz of brand k? and i'm not a shopping girl.. i don't really spend money... everytime i buy something i will think twice or more... that's why i dont buy cloths or shoes coz it took me a long time to think...

i want a mac book pro and now i need a computer lab that is freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

bling bling ****

2008-09-06T02:25:00.005+08:00

i just found out that i love shirts or caps with those small diamonds.. i love the blink or bling bling... i always want to buy shirts with those diamonds but somehow it's expensive and it doesn't suit my taste.. then i found shop that decorate shirts with bling bling according to ur design.. but it's expensive too...around RM 60 per shirt... but then ar!!

i found this blog thru kennysia's blog... she sell bling bling stickers.. actually she sell lots of stickers... many types.. free postage for Malaysian... so i ordered few to look at the quality.. damn nice! i jsut received it today... i ordered 3 days ago.... so quite fast lo...these are the four stickers that i ordered and i'm going to buy more... u just have to apply epoxy glue on the stickers and STICK WHEREVER YOU WANT! it's cheap cheap CHEAP!!!! seriously for me ar.. someone who don't really spend money (besides food) on cloths.... i think i will spend some money to buy stickers and make my old cloths have a new look... so that i won't have to shop for new cloths... save money... support her!!

favourite joke

2008-09-04T22:51:00.003+08:00

A - when is your birthday?
B - 8th March
A- what year what year?
B - EVERY YEAR LA!!

HAHAHAHHAHAHA MUST SUPPORT MONEY NOT ENOUGH 2

still ridiculous~~

2008-08-26T22:46:00.003+08:00

-today my friends told me that the concert is on.. no changes.. but i don't care.. the reason that they gave to try to cancel the show is still ridiculous... ahhaha

- the closing ceremony is okok la... not very impressive but ok la,.. honestly maybe i'l offended the david beckham's fans.. but 'm so sorry! because your idol is an extra in the closing ceremony... i don't see his point of being there.. he is an extra!!!!!!!!!! and the newspaper said that he'll show his banana kick that will curve... liar!! the way he kick the ball even i can do that.. anyway when he come out obviously everyone are crazy of him... so fine...

- Genting is very cold... but i like it...muakz

- i'm going to work for this week as well... merdeka day.. those that don't like clowns it's not a good day for u to go up to genting because there'll be 40 clowns walking around Genting that day... we'll be showing all the skills that we learned... fire and others.. actually it's not WE it's THEY!!! ahhahahaha

- i'm going to shoot 5 videos.. going to edit 5 videos.. hopefully i'll improve my editing skills after these 5 videos...

ridiculous!!

2008-08-25T19:05:00.006+08:00

i tell you ar... after i read jiayi's blog.. i'm really upset!! i always say that i love Malaysia and this is the fact!! but somehow some "people" in Malaysia always pollute our country... ridiculous la!! how can u cancel avril lavign's concert!! how can u do that? and the most important thing is.. your reason is the most ridiculous reason in the world that i had heard!! she's sexy?? my ass la...she's singing with all her attitude and u call that sexy? u think she's pussy cat dolls? even pussy cat dolls came to malaysia b4!!! she got attitude!! her songs got attitude!! what do u mean keep malaysia clean cultural? she's very dirty meh? she got swear and curse in her songs meh? what's your problem? before you talk about other artists.. pls look at yourself la... politics in malaysia are much more complicated!! if you want to keep the clean cultural and make sure the young generation don't turn worse... pls change yourself b4 you change otherS!!!!!!! what's your problem!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which part of avril makes you feel that she's not a good artist and will pollute our clean cultural? you think all the malay rock star actually very clean ar? i don't even understand a word from them! avril lavigne is such a good singer! and how can u say that young generation will become worse after her concert?? excuse me!! you know what is rock? it's a cultural as well and it's SUPER DUPER CLEAN!! CLEANER THAN ALL THE HEADLINE IN OUR LOCAL NEWSPAPER!!!! WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?? if because of this incident and no more international artists come to malaysia it's all your fault!! CULTURAL MY FOOT!!!!!!!!!! sue me la if you want.. but i really disagree with your decision and it's this week... the concert is this week!! how can u cancel last minute!! people bought tix and full of expectation.. now you just broke their heart!! that's why singapore more develop... Malaysia.. 51 yrs old dy.. still developing.. die lo... when only reach the well develop level? becoz of u all la... or else Malaysia Will be better than singapore... now even Vietnam and Thailand also better than us!! this is the time where i feel malu to be a Malaysian.. imagine la..

foreigner : hey where do you come from?
me: Malaysia
foreigner: oh the one that canceled avril lavigne's concert bcoz you all THINK she's too sexy? hahahhah your country is so naive.. clean or whatever...
me: i want to cry!!!! my country is so out!!

what's your problemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Malaysia scraps 'too sexy' Avril Lavigne concert
By JULIA ZAPPEI – 5 days ago
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Malaysia on Tuesday canceled a concert by Canadian rock singer Avril Lavigne, saying it may taint the Muslim-majority country's independence day celebrations after the Islamic opposition slammed her show as being "too sexy."
The Arts, Culture and Heritage Ministry said it had decided not to permit Lavigne's show because it was unsuitable to Malaysian culture and could not be held on Aug. 29, two days ahead of independence day.
"It is not timely. It's not in the good spirit of our National Day. If we go ahead with the concert, it is contrary to what we are preparing for," said Shukran Ibrahim, a senior official from the culture ministry's department that vets all foreign artists.
The decision came after the youth wing of a fundamentalist opposition party, the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party, called for the show's cancellation.
"We don't want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models," he said.

he lost

2008-08-17T22:37:00.002+08:00

lee chong wei lost... although i personally don't really like Lin Dan because of his character but he's really did well today... he's fast.. no mistake and he really wants to win! it's his game... Lee Chong Wei totally got no chance to defend... Lin dan is really fast.. anyway our Malaysia still got a medal.. SILVER! can see Malaysia flag going up together with the China's flag... it's good enough.. really hope that we can see another lee chong wei 4 yrs later in the London olympic...

MALAYSIA BOLEH!!

2008-08-15T23:42:00.002+08:00

yesterday... the first sentence that i heard once i woke up was " Lee Chong Wei WON"
i was happy bcoz he's in the semifinal... which means he's closer to the medals...

just now~! i managed to watch the match between LCW and the Korean player in one of the restaurant... bcoz of the tv we decided to have our dinner there.. it's not nice and expensive.. but we were too concentrate on the match... i was screaming in the restaurant,... i know there are ppl looking at me but i can't control! especially WHEN he wonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!! he's in the final!!!!!!!! AT LEAST SILVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEE CHONG WEI!!!!!!!!!!! JIA YOU!!!!!!!!

MALAYSIA JIA YOU!!!!!!!

IT'S SO PROUD THAT MALAYSIA AT LEAST GOT A MEDAL!!!!

and it's happy to see malaysian's supporters are increasing in the stadium where u can hear " MALAYSIA BOLEH! "

just now during cell group....it's merdeka week... after so many questions were asked... after so many answers.. after all the thoughts that came into my mind... unbelievable! i love Malaysia more than i can imagine... when i list down things that i lvoe in Malaysia... ALOT!! maybe u won't believe me... malaysia sucks... the races sucks.. or whatever... but trust me... there are no other places where u stay and have the feelings that u belongs to there... becoz we all belong to Malaysia ONLY! i used to think that i hate to be in Malaysia... but i'm sure tat i won't get use to the lifestyle in other countries.. where everything is expensive and even extra chilli sauce cost RM0.50.. so people... appreciate!! without other races.. we won't have so many holidays... so many types of food! get to learn diff languages!! try to think about it... actually it's not BAD to be MALAYSIAN! for me.. i'm PROUD TO BE A MALAYSIAN! AND I WONT WANT TO LEAVE MALAYSIA! besides holiday or further studies la.. i won't live forever there...

anyway!!!
LEE CHONG WEI!! JIA YOU!!
MALAYSIA JIA YOU!!
MALAYSIA BOLEH!!

haih~~

2008-08-13T23:12:00.002+08:00

i just finish watching Wong Mew Chu VS China girl.. seriously.. wong mew chu really tried her best.. can see that she really tried and not giving up although it's tiring... the score was 27-29... imagine how long they need to run and play for one game.... i really want her to win!! i want Malaysia to win!! at least a metal!! bronze only also can!! when wong mew chu get the game point.. my heart really pump veryyy fast!! it's like playing drum... when the china girl got game point.. my heart pump faster... imagine the coach there la... and for me... i think it's really stress especially when u play with china team bcoz the whole stadium were screaming "China JIAYU Zhong GUO JIA YOU!!" only got a few malaysian holding malaysian flag... anyway ya she lost...

then our double... koo kien keat and tan boon heong also lost to the indonesian team... they were too nervous.. but i still respect them becoz they are as YOUNG as me... hahaha i don't even dare to walk into the stadium and play... hahahahha but they are YOUNG so don't worry.. you can join the next Olympic in LONDON!!! practice pls!!!!!!!!

now we only left Lee Choong Wei... cna feel his pressure.. if other malaysian team are still in.. i think he won't be that stress... now malaysia's hope can only depend on him..i realy hope he can beat Sony which is a very strong player according to my dad! if you can beat him then we got bronze~! or silver or GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! i'll pray for u!! don't ask me why i'm so into it.. i cna't explain but i just want malaysia to get at least a metal!!

p/s i wonder why our malaysian team meet all the strong team like china and indonesia? why why why.. others don't seems strong... why can't we VS them.. Malaysia!! you got pray or not??

2008-08-11T18:48:00.003+08:00

- new semester.. new life.. but the subjects seriously OMG!!!!! psychology.. i don't like... malaysian studies... i'm not interested... moral study... nothing to do with me! project... okla.. at least i can edit videos... hahaha and do something that i like.. so i just have to focus on Project~~

- MYFM anniversary was nice la... but too bad the free seating become free standing and this is not a rock concert so i really don't enjoy standing... anyway... the DJs are great!! better than all the singers.... i love them so much!!!

- i like Beijing olympic opening ceremony... really nice! i love almost everything in it.. i love the drum... 2008 people playing that drum and the way they countdown.. so cool~~~ i love the way they draw the mountain and trees... i love the children's smilling faces... i love the globe thing where all the people walk upside down... but the part where li ning run is abit too long la... pity him! hheehhe anyway!! proud of China! let all the mat salleh know what u all can do better!!

- i have no idea why but i seriously want lee chong wei to win!! Gold metal!! not only single but the double also! i want them to win! i want Malaysia to get some metals!! JIA YOU!!!!!

- i want to eat seafoods... Korean food.. Sushi... and lots more!! haih~~

Passion Kuala Lumpur

2008-08-04T22:51:00.005+08:00

pics from the Passion Blog...

people waiting for registration near Asian Revenue
people waiting to get into the hall! i nearly fainted becoz i need air cond!!
people from all over the World!
the very HOT Chris Tomlin and the Team
the crowd... unbelievable? believe it@ hahhha

it's really unbelievable because around 4000+ people went to the Passion yesterday.. besides my church friends, pet and her friends came as well! love you lots girl!~ it's really cool to look at people all around 17-24 yrs old worship Lord together! i always tot that being a Christian means no life... you can only stay at home after class... go to church... listen to those slow and boring Christian's songs... can't go clubbing... can't enjoy yourself... you have to be perfect or else God won't love you! but i'm so so so wrong!! i admit that i'm stupid for having this thought! or Father Jesus will love us just who we are! he created us all differently! He loves us all!!

the night was awesome!! seriously it's better than MTV Asia Award... their songs are nice.. it's like a Rock concert.. we all sing and jump and scream!! i really think that it's so cool that you can worship Lord with all those super nice songs! not boring at all! hahaha i'm really not good in describing my feelings because it's describable! the songs are nice.. i enjoyed myself there! i sang it loud with my heart! Ps Louie and the Passion Team are cool!! Chris Tomlin is HOT!! he really look like a superstar wiht a powerful voice and he look hot~!! hahahah i wanted take some pic with them but i got no camera! they are going to Jakarta after this.. so if you see me wearing a wristband.. it's the proof that i still rmb them and to pray for them! hahahah

Thank you Manila for praying for us! we really appreciated that! i hope Jakarta will have a good night as well! 4000 Malaysian are praying for you!

when i listen to the Ashley's story.. i cried.. i have to idea why but when i knew that she died.. my tears drop non-stop...but it's really great to know how God changed her life.. no matter how screwed she was.. but God will still love her no matter how... this is our God! i know lots of you might disagree with me.. and i seriously don't know how to convince you... because i'm not a good Christian.. of coz i'm trying now... i know He love me very much... and i really want to scream out loud as well! with my heart and faith " LORD I LOVE YOU TOO!!" i don't say this words easily..but i really mean it...

this is a simple prayer for all my friends and family....and enemy as well

Lord,

thank you for the night! you make me realized that it's proud to be a 'fruitcake' and no regret! Thank you for sending Petrina and her friends here... i hope they felt the same like me and be more passionate.. at least a little...i also pray for the 4000+ people that came yesterday... maybe we all come from different churches.. different state or different countries but we all come with the same reason...it's for You! Thank you Lord! for those that couldn't make it such like my sisters and brothers.. help them to solve all their problems and bless them with your angels... for my college's friends and other friends such like Jiayi... protect them no matter where they go.. bless them no matter what they do and let us have a great semester...for my family.. i hope they wil open their hearts and try to feel what You are trying to do in their life... take care of them bcoz i really love them.. i know You love them too... for my enemies... love them Lord becoz without these people exiting in my life.. i wouldn't improve myself to prove to them i'm not the type of person that they think i am.. so i really thank them for existing in my life... Lord i pray for Malaysia as well so that there won't be problems or lots of issues going on... forgive all my sins and i really Love You! Thank You!!

in Jesus wonderful name i pray... Amen...

Pictures

2008-08-04T02:41:00.007+08:00

these pictures are taken from the star online and http://www.kennysia.com/ because my camera lens rosak!!!!!

Favourite Artist Malaysia: Nicholas Teo

"jiayi i know u very happy!! haha i got voted for him also!!"

Favourite Artist Taiwan: Show Lo i know his name is abit weird but he's good in dancing!
Favourite Artist Singapore: Stephanie Sun

Favourite Artist Thailand: TOR + Saksit
i saw him lots of times in Genting Lobby.. he's quite good looking in real person..
Favourite Artist Korea: Super Junior
biggest band in the entire world and if i'm not mistaken they were lip syncing

The Script
Favourite Artist Mainland China: Lee Yu Chun
Favourite Artist Hong Kong: Leo Ku
Breakthrough Artist: Leona Lewis

Knockout Award: The Click Five

Inspiration award: Karen Mok

Video Star: 30 Seconds To Mars: “A Beautiful Lie”

and they are the host!

Best Hook Up: Timbaland feat. One Republic - “Apologize”

edc Style Award: Panic At The Disco
The Pussycat Dolls
Favourite Artist Indonesia: Yovie & Nuno

Favourite Artist Phillipines: Chicosci
Favourite International Artist in Asia: Linkin Park
Bring Da House Down: Muse - Muse Asia Tour
The Innovation Award: Radiohead

Mtv Asia Award 2008

2008-08-04T00:08:00.013+08:00

yeap i went to the Mtv Asia Award 2008 in Genting Highlands because my beloved brother won 4 tix.. i'm really excited becoz i tot it will be cool.... the show was not as good as what i expected... there are 3 things that i dissatisfied...i'm quite disappointed... well... i'll list them down later on... of coz i did enjoy myself in few parts...alright... below are just my opinion and from my point of view.. so if anyone disagreed with me or the organizer read this... i'm sorry.. it's not my problem.. i'm just telling the truth..

#1

the stage is quite small... the organizer are not well organized... the tv inside are not showing the red carpet and the artists are coming into the arena secretly... i can see that sometimes the artists have to stand becoz the seats for artists are limited.. the seat for the audience are not good... the sound system have some error in the middle of the show or it's too soft till we couldn't hear what the artists are talking about... and most importantly.. the crew lead us to the wrong area and when we took our seat.. one of the organizer came to us and ask us to leave...

alright.. let me tell u from the beginning... me and my mum get the free seating tix and my bro get the free standing... so when me and my mum walked into the arena... the crews said you can sit either the Blue seat on the left or the yellow seat in the middle... of coz.. everyone went to the middle.. i saw some EDC sticker on the chair but since the crews said these are our seats so i don't care...after 10 mins.. one lady came to us and said "the seats are reserved so pls move to the seat without labels..." most of the people there were dissatisfied bcoz those seats without labels are at the corner... but now we are sitting in the middle... and that lady started to screamed " PLS MOVE TO THE SEAT WITHOUT LABEL.. CAN U ALL PLS GET FROM THE SEAT WITH LABELS! MOVE!!!" i really wanted to fight back becoz how can u be so rude to us!! we are the one that supported ur event! imagine ur wonderful award without all the audiences..how can u scream to us! not our problem! but there were lots of people sounded back so i just keep quiet.. i tried to look for other seat that is nearer to the stage but couldn't becoz it's all reserved.. then i saw people that have the same wristband like me walked back to the reserved place... so me and my mum just followed.. then the other lady with other crews came.. but this time.. no one listen to them and just ignore.. i keep quiet till the crew talked to the girls beside me.. i talked to them just now and they are from China.. they don't understand English at all but the crew just scolded them.. so i scolded back.. "your crews are the one that lead us here! where u want us to sit? talk to you crews not us! i'm not going to move anymore!!" and luckily others agreed with me... or else ar.. ehhehe.. after they asked the organizer.. the crew and the mat salleh and the security to talked to us.. they gave up and we get to sit there! Berani kerana benar! haha

#2

only few artists came and the show is really short... there were lots more artists such as Linkin Park...Avril Lavigne...Black Eye Peas...Muse...Andy Lau...Jolin Tsai...Gwen Stefani...Kanye West...Daughtry...Beyonce...Shakira...Rihanna.. they were all nominated for different awards...

#3

this has nothing to do with the organizer or any crews... but it's the feng shui of my place.. there were 4 crazy girls sat near my place... they scream from the minute they steped into the arena... i'm the screaming type also but not like them..... they scream when the host are talking.. when the singer are singing... even advertisement.... they scream and scream and scream NON-STOP!!!... we scream "hohhhhh" but they scream "AHHHHHHHHHHH" it's really annoying!!!! i nearly stuck the ballon into their mouth...can u imagine when One Republic is singing

" it's too late AHHHHHHH~~~~ to apologize AHHHHHHH~~~~ it's too AHHHHH~~~~~~ late AHHHHHHHHH~~~~"

or especially when the host Jared Leto is talking...

"welcome to AHHHHHHHH~~~ MTV JAREDDDDDDD~~~~ Asia Award I LOVE YOU~~~~AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

it's really really annoying!!!!!
when panics at the disco singing.. they jump non-stop and jumped on the seat infront them... it's other people's seats...that girl just stand up to take some pictures..... then they move into the front row and jump non-stop.. there are people sitting and suddenly this group of girls just go infront of them and jump... luckily they didn't block my view or else i will take off my boots and knock on their head!!

that's all that disappointed me at the show and spoil my mood... but of coz i enjoyed when one republic sang.. AWESOME!! love his voice! and Leona Lewis so pretty and bleeding love really nice! The Pussycats Dolls are sexay!!! Show is handsome!! and other bands that came.. because they all look the same to me and the crews are mat salleh so i couldn't differentiate whether they are crews or artists when they walked in front of me.. hehe and the stage although it's small but it's really nice!! and the lighting.!!!

Pictures will come after this post.... that's all.... good luck...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY SISTA!

2008-07-25T01:54:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SISTA FROM DIFF FATA AND MATA~~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU~~

SELAMAT HARI JADI!!

incase u forgot how to speak malay... hehe

su ying!!! keep this pic k? don't worry you are not alone in Australia!! if you feel lonely.. hug the scaf that i gave you or GO OUT AND KNOW SOME LENG ZAI LA!! 20 YEARS OLD DY! BIG GIRL ALREADY!!

MAKE SURE WHEN GOT LENG ZAI YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE THIS!! HEHEH

AND MAKE SURE U BRING A BF HOME WHEN U'RE BACK K??

MISS YOU!!! MUAKZ

Passion World Tour 2008

2008-07-17T13:03:00.004+08:00

PASSION KUALA LUMPUR is a gathering for UNIVERSITY-AGED young people throughout Malaysia and South-east Asia.

Believing in the university moment, and what God longs to do in this strategic window of time, the entire event will focus on the bigness of God, calling students to PRAYER, WORSHIP and ACTION, and a Story so much bigger than their own.

The heartbeat of PASSION KUALA LUMPUR is to:

ENCOURAGE the CHURCH

Foster UNITY among those who love JESUS

Spark VISION for the UNIVERSITIES of Kuala Lumpur and the nation

Tell the STORY of REDEMPTION in compelling ways

INSPIRE students to EMBRACE their part in God's global plan for the NATIONS

Why the WorldFinding in Christ all we need, and spending our lives to make Him famous in this generation... that's what The Passion Movement is all about and what has attracted hundreds of thousands of university aged young people to Passion gatherings over the past eleven years. Passion is more than an event.

Passion is a movement made up of young people who have abandoned the idea of living simply for themselves and are daily giving everything so the world can see Jesus more clearly. Passion is about the glory of God, inspiring a wave of students to taste and see that He is good and to do something now to change the world in Jesus' name.

We've discovered that every major city in the world is a university town, most home to hundreds of thousands, and in some cases millions of students. So, Passion is off on a crazy journey to the cities of the world in 2008, uniting university students around the globe in a story so much bigger than our own.

Click on the city nearest you and join the movement for His renown!"Yes Lord, walking in the way of Your truth we wait eagerly for You, for Your name and renown are the desire of our souls." Isaiah 26:8Passion Conferences is a Christian organization (also referred to as the 268 Generation), founded by Louie Giglio in 1997, known for their annual spiritual awakening gatherings of college students.

It is a movement where college and university students gather together to learn about the Creator, the Creation, Creation and New Creation. And do you know that you have a purpose-driven life? But what is it? So let's find out more in Passion this 3rd of August.

Don't miss out this opportunity as there will also be great contemporary Christian musicians with us on that special event.Price of the Pass is RM20.00.

Log on to http://www.268generation.com/worldtour/ for more information. call me for the tix! if you don't have mynumber.. ask me..

Sunday, August 3, 2008
6:00pm - 10:00pm
Sunway Convention Centre

*Please be informed that Passion is for college and university young people aged 17-25 years old.

But others are encouraged to join in as volunteers! Send in your application to volunteers@268generation.com. Should you have questions please send in your inquiries to passionkualalumpur@gmail.com.Let us make this gathering happen together and make sure to bring ALL your friends to join the MOVEMENT!

sisters~

2008-07-15T18:43:00.005+08:00

i remember the day when bee lee have to study in Penang... i cried like no body's business... because Genting is so small.. so we meet each other everyday.. not everyday.. every hour k? so it's so weird where i don't get to meet her anymore.. i mean not everyday... slowly.. we grown up and most of us move to KL... we tot we can meet up often but we are busy with our assignments....however... at least we'll meet up maybe once a month... in Genting.. because we are so call ' the highlanders' or ' anak Genting'... i really enjoy every minute with you all.. of course we do have some minor conflict but it help to pull us closer...

Ying.. last time we were not that close compare to u and mandy or me and bee lee.. 2007 and 2008 really put us closer... we became so close in this two years.. of course for this 10 years we are always the sisters... i'm so happy that we become closer and closer... again.. 12th July, i have to face the moment where another of my sister going overseas... last time.. i rmb both of us always sesat somewhere... whole group of us planned to countdown together but we always sesat and end up countdown ourselves... i wonder why~~~ although we don't meet up like everyday but at least last time i knew that when i call u... u are always there... now u're in Australia... i really tot that i will cry again in airport.. but maybe i cried too much 2 days before so no more tears left on that day... i really regreted that why we don't meet always last time when u are in Malaysia.. for that one week itself... i really enjoy every moment with u... i'll really miss u.. soon... next year.. another of my sister will go to Australia as well... all the sisters left me alone in KL... DIM GAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! when i'm sad, when i'm happy or whenever i like i'll call u all... to kacau u all... suddenly i feel like this two years.. no one will watch concert with me... no one will countdown with me.. no one will watch fireworks with me.. no one will gila with me.. no one will talk about Jay Chou with me.. i finally know how Bee Lee feels....

soon.. u all gonna be studying in Australia... watching Australia's fireworks with all the mat salleh... eating Australian's food.. after that... work there... i don't know when can i meet u all... of course i said i'll visit u all. but i don't know when.. i'm so not used to it!! i really really really miss u!! and gonna miss Mandy!! no one is gonna be there when i cried... no one is gonna be there to do crazy things with me... no one gonna understand what i'm talkign about... Mandy! we must go out more often!! so that i won't regret how less hours i spend with u girls.... i really Thank God that he blessed me with 3 sisters... and of course the four stupid brothers... muakz!! i just realized that how important u all are in my life!!! ying i hope everything will be alright there!! pls update ur blog and email us k? miss u!!!!!

what had i done in 2 months?

2008-07-10T23:32:00.022+08:00

- i started my internship in Red communication... 12/05/2008-04/07-2008

this is the main office.. it's a bungalow... it look abit old outside and messy inside...
i'm under the wardrobe department at first.. but because i got no sense of fashion...
i requested to transfer to post production this is actually a studio.. so the office and cafe are in the same place actually... they set it up...
i don't have to follow shooting and this is the office...sometimes i do subtitles for Gol and Gincu/Kami/3R/impian illyana season 1

if i got nothing to do... i learn editing frm different editors...

sometimes i got nothing to do....
sometimes i hav to arrange the CDs or choose the correct songs for the drama....
sometimes i feel sleepy..ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz
most of the time i'll do transcript...

- i went to Grasshopper's concert!! cool!!! 14/06/2008

they are 40++ but they still dance better than me...
they danced non-stop for 30 mins but they still sound as clear as CD...
this are the people after four times of encore@@
they are sexier than me... but they are not gay! 2 of them are married...

- i went to Gary Chaw's concert!!!! awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! 28/06/2008

the two lucky girls.. hahaha
the crowd
i love the stage... cool...
i melted.. i mean we all melted when he sand 'my way'
and also superwomen....

- i went to sunway lagoon!!! we took almost all the rides... 09/07/2008

the wonderful rock....
the tapir...
wildlife!!
my favourite part!! reverse bungee... don't know what's that? google~~ MUST TRY~~~~
some car... or bike...

suddenly people just want to give us prizes.. it's a easy game... ying won@@!!
we went to the safari animal show... but technical problem so show canceled...
i tell u !! this monkey although it look evil but the face is as small as my thumb!!!
tis monkey is really active.. and the hand really look like baby hand and touch like baby's fingers...
i love snakes.. although it's a small one!

- i meet up with su ying and mandy almost everyday after my internship....

where are our food!!
hahhhaahaha we finish it within 30 mins...
we are waiting for the side orders!!
mandy trying to look sexy..
this is what we do to the left over food!

but it's not good to waste food.. so we have to finish it...
watch out my kung fu chopstick!!
it's so nice!!
Mandy's style fried cabbage...

after such a heavy dinner.. Mandy still want to eat her sister's bread!! even the guy behind was wondering! how much can she eat!!!!!!!

me and ying...
mandy ka ka cau cau!! hahahah love u girls!!

Appreciate every moment you have~!

2008-05-18T19:00:00.003+08:00

after watching all the special programmes about the Sichuan Earthquake... i realized that all the so call problem that i'm facing now are craps... it's nothing compare to what the china people and the myanmar people facing now... they lost their house in just few minutes.. lost their family members.. this is different from war cause you can get ready everything when u know war is coming... but all these natural disaster.. you can't predict... the children are all going to school as usual... suddenly earthquake attack them and the building just ruin in few minutes or maybe seconds... lots of people died in just few minutes... after the snow incident... China faced another big problem again... China supposed to celebrate this year cause it's Olympic in Beijing... everyone is like so happy this year and suddenly they lost so many people...

but their army and the people there really touched me... the army just save the people non-stop and it's actually very dangerous for all the army.... i don't know whether the same thing will happen in Malaysia as in the polices and army will help the people first rather than run away... i can't say that Malaysia polices won't help cause we never face problem like this before... but when you look at China's army and polices you really salute them.... they broke their hands and legs just to help the people there and right now they are just looking for dead bodies cause really few people that can survive right now... they fight and tried so hard just to save those dead bodies... they really touched my heart....

after all these snow... earthquake and typhoon incident.. it make me feel so lucky to stay in malaysia... cause beside flood... Malaysia don't have natural disaster like what other country faced... i'm really glad that i stay in Malaysia as in i don't have to worry what will happen next minute to my house.. my family and my country.. Malaysia is a good place and i thank God for placing me in this country.. sometimes we always complain about Malaysia but actually it's the people in malaysia that we dislike... not the country itself... it's some human being doing something ridiculous and make us dislike our country.. but in fact.. we actually living in a wonderful country... so next time i will say " i don't like some celaka people in Malaysia but not Malaysia itself! i love Malaysia! cause it make me feel more secure than staying in other country.."

everyone.. let's pray for the people in China and Myanmar.... no matter their family members still alive..

i pray that you all will at least find your family members... i pray that you all will live in better life in the future because you all have good government and good leaders.... i pray that you all will be strong to face everytihng in the future... and i pray for those polices and army to be save while you all saving other people... you all must take care so that you all can save more people... i really respect you all!! i pray to God please take away all these disaster at least for this year cause they faced too many things in one year~!! God please protect them!! Amen

i'm back!

2008-05-17T10:07:00.003+08:00

lots of things happen during my first week of internship... u might think i'm useless.. why the first week also cannot tahan.. although i have to work for 10-16 hours per day but that's not what i'm dislike... it's because.... aiya.. long story.. nvm la... it's over now...

anyway before my internship starts... i went to kevin's birthday party in maison... for more information and pictures... pls visit the chatolic cutie... the stonedmunkeys and nick's blog.... i enjoyed myself there.... danced... observed others... got free show somemore!! hehe... then i drove dice's car!! from subang to my house.. it's quite near and it's highway so not a prob.. ya incase u all dunno i drove to sunway.. to my college.. to my aunt's house.. finally i can drive!! haaaha thanks to my bro's gf.. she taught me...

then friday...sat and sun i went to Pekan which is located somewhere near Kuantan.... it's a orang asli place... so i get to see how orang asli live and their life ofcoz... but this group of orang asli abit modern la... their house are not those wooden houses like the rumah panjang.. it's simen ok? dn't play play ar... anyawy i went there with my church friends.. we are there to spread the God's words... and me myself became a christian on Sunday 11 May 2008... maybe some of you will think... eh? you are not christian meh? ahahah actually i said i'm a christian because i believe in God the Jesus Christ and i can't say i'm buddhist or somehting else... but i'm not real Christian as in i don't go to church beofre this... i don't read the bible and i haven't read the salvation prayer..... right now.. i'm a Christian! hehe i hope i won't let everyone down for being a bad Christian... but i believe God will help me anywhere.. hehe

now i'm still working.... it's saturday.. yes it is.. and tmr i'm working as well.. its sunday... let me tell you my schedule k? my working hour is depend on the shooting hour....

first day - 10.30am till 1.30am
second day - 7am - 9.30pm
third day - shooting off but need to go office.. 11.30am - 7pm
fourth day - 9am - 9pm
fifth day - 9am till 8.30pm
today - 9am till dunno what time....

but i'm actually quite ready for this kind of timing coz it's shooting ma... this industry is like that wan.. i understand.. so what happen that make me so upset and cried alot? long story tell you when i see you k if u wan to know.. hahahahaaahh bye

oh ya if you wan to know more on the drama that i'm shooting now... go to www.illyana.com.my or www.illyana.com.my/malay....

we are doing next season for this malay drama.... get to meet all the malay artists which i don't know.. hehee

it's over...

2008-05-03T18:16:00.005+08:00

finally i'm done with my semester 4...i'm done with my finals and i think i did quite ok in most of the subjects beside media planning.... i really can't believe that time flies like an arrow... all the memories... all the events.. the meetings are all still recalling in my mind.. i really miss ASAP... although we had lots of conflicts (i called it battle)... we faced lots of problem... but still i miss this campaign...

i miss our first meeting where we had to decide what campaign and what name to give... i miss when everyone scream just because we got a name for our campaign...i miss our very first fund raiser where we did crazy things and even our seniors were impressed... i miss songs dedication... i miss selling jco and dominos... i miss it when we played the nuts game until we all gone nuts... i miss double dare...i miss those moment where i had to call media everyday...i miss our first road show where we get lost and end up somewhere that we all have no idea...i miss our roadshows where we get to meet all the cute kids and play with them.... i miss all our meetings where we gave different ideas and how excited it was when we get something where we all agreed... i miss the day when i get my ASAP shirt.. it look so cool.... i miss those moment when we were preparing for our launch... i miss our launch.... i miss PWTC smartkids exhibition... i miss when we were having fun with all the balloons and telling other people how great our events and tshirts are... i miss those moment where we had our ticket booths with all the cruisers from MyFM, Hitz.FM and FlyFM although i was really stressed when the two FMs met each other... i miss those moment where we need to asked everyone to buy our tickets and stressed where no one seems interested in buying.... i miss our DanceQuake '08 although we faced lots of problem and faced lots of weird people... i miss those moment where we danced on the stage and posed as the Topi Crew.... i miss those moment where we had to deal with lots of people... i miss the moment where we get to knw we sold 440 tickets...i miss those moment where we screamed together when we get lots of funds from donations driving...i miss those moments where we felt so touched when some event are done.... i miss those moments where we tried to help each other when others faced problem... of coz.. i miss those moment where i have to stay back in media hub more than 3 hours per day to edit the video....i miss the moment when i finished the video and they like it... i miss those moment where people claps when they are watching the video...

when i was copying all the pictures and everything related to ASAP to a CD.... i felt abit moody coz it's over.. i know i'm weird.. we faced lots of lots of problem and conflicts.. most of us always feel like crying... but still i really wan to go back to those days.... where we all fight for one objective! to raise fund!! and of coz to get good grade in CPM.... although my mark is lower than my expectation but at least not that far.. i really love those days and thank God for helping me... i know You are always there when i;m editing my video... You always be there when we feel really helpless.. thank you~~

ASAP4Children = Abduction: Social Alert Project for Children....

again i present to you... ASAP official video... i know it's not perfect but it gave me satisfaction...

this is the first one.. i prefer this coz the latest abit too rush...

thank you ASAPians... thank you to our papa kumar...

p.s - thanks to those bunch of stone monkeys... they brough me into a small room that full of computers... and taught me how to play CS.. althgouh i die every 5 seconds each round but i had fun!! why la i always had fun with u all after i emo... thanks alot wei!!!

it's the final countdown!!

2008-04-28T15:04:00.002+08:00

i'm having final today... as usual... yesterday didn't sleep... got la,.. in between... then im ready for CCP... althgouh the MCQ and True/False are confusing but at least i think i did best in my essay...then media planning... die die die!! those that i studied... as usual didn't come out at all!!!! those thast i don't even know what the hell is it... all on the question paper... i never been this helpless when i face the question paper... i tried my best to crap... but still... i dunno anything... don't rmb anything... those that i tried my best to remember!! one single question also don't have!! why la!! it's not that i didn't study... i admit i didn't study as hard as CCP but i did put some effort in ma.. why one also didnt come out?? i'm so helpless....i came out from the exam hall... sitting in front of the computer... in ilab... blogging and waiting for my mum to come... die lo!!! i really don't wan to fail!! of coz i know i dun deserve good marks but i just need 40% to pass!!! i already lose my A in CCP... my CGPA is dropping... die die die!!! no need to go Australia dy la... since malaysia also fail... how to go australia!!! die!!!!!

lucky week!

2008-04-24T21:55:00.002+08:00

- on monday, MyFM called me coz i applied to be one of their ford everest cruisers and i tot i screwed it.. but they called me for a second interview!! haha can't believe this happen...

- yesterday finally company called me for internship!! i've sent my resume to them last two weeks... and i got an interview tmr~~ hehe

- today received two calls from two company... one event.. one PR company...

- PR company need to have an interview by today.. so i rushed to their office which is located at mid valley boulevard... it took me around 20 mins to look for the office...okla.. i admit i'm abit blur... when i stepped into the office... the lady that called me was busy on the phone.. so i just chill there and read their books.. they won many awards and it is an international company... but still.. it's a PR company... i feel weird when they called me...

after the lady scolded that person on the phone.. she came to me and brough me to a meeting room.... she asked me what other company that i applied... i told her all the production houses name... she was shocked bcoz she doesn't know that i'm majoring in advertising.. and she asked me to tell her honestly.. if a production house offered me an internship.. which company will i choose? their company or the production house... i said production house.. and i said i don't know anything about PR and i was surprise why they called me... they are mad at our lecturer coz he's the one sent our resume in... and they felt guilty that i had to rush to their office... so they are going to forward my resume to other production houses that they have connection with...they mentioned ASTRO!!! they said they don't do this for interns for bcoz i was honest to them so they were happy.. that's why they are going to help me to forward my resume!!!

i'm so happy~~ can't believe that this happen..no matter i get a company or not from them but they tried to help me!! so cool!!! i mean.. yala.. they called me last min then i rushed there but stil it's not their fault!! why they so kind!! oh my God~~ thank you so much~!! thanks for your blessing~ i felt so blessed this week.. calls from company... not only one but 3! i'm really happy!! actually this PR company is really good! their work.. their office!! the view is very nice!! i hope i can work in somewhere located in 17th floor...

to all my PR friends,.. if u all need company.. pls sms me and contact me k?
:D:D:D:D cna't stop smiling...